I can prove that this past administration attempted a coup.  CALL THE MARINES!!!

• I developed and then placed the world's first FCC compliant method to hypnosis into the international public domain in 2003.
• I gave the commercial rights to the Basic All In One reboot/rebirth sequence for humans, which fixes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in two hours run one time ever,  to the United Nations in 2004.
  
• I broke the story about Microsoft Anti-Trust behavior about six months prior to the first legal case, in the Premiere Issue of Likewise Magazine (and I have a copy with me)
• I was published for science fiction in the Premiere Issue of Little Green Men magazine.
  
• I am a member of ASCAP because an LA rapper used eleven tracks of my work on his album Ghetto Quality. 
  
• I'm was a student member of the Dramatists Guild of America, but have let this lapse so I can join again once this is over as a professional member.
  
• My personal anecdote is the very last story in the first Darwin Awards book. 
• I won in Comedy Central's first internet talent contest for family humor,
• I've been published in print and on the internet in thirty articles.
  
• My web page "Klinefelter's Syndrome & Me" was the first web page on the topic, and stands to this day as still one of the more linked sites on the web and around the world.
  
• My website was the first to support answering any hypnosis question.  I now have an archive of questions between my website's FAQ and the Yahoo discussion group.
• Dave's Coming Out Card has been one of the most reused tools on the web for coming out, though I'll probably take hell as I've been married 20 years..
  
• I've been accepted to United Who's Who.
• I am a member of the International Honour Society Golden Key.
• I earned the CTM certification from Toastmasters International in four months.
• I've won blue and other ribbons for poetry at county fairs.
• I was on a nationally syndicated soap opera when I was 5.

I've spent a hell of a lot of time in hospitals when I was morbidly obese (I had a gastric bypass in 2004).  Thus, in being in a hospital bed, I learned the effectiveness of a torpedo joke. 

If you're on what you think might be your death bed, you want people to tell you the truth.  A torpedo joke disarms the messenger with discomforting laughter, forcing the recipient to drop guard and expose the full truth.

I posted in alt.comedy.standup the last joke I wrote for Rodney Dangerfield in the hopes that if he was in a room with his doctor and he needed to blow this physician's mind to force the doctor out into the open.  Please remember that this is with the assumption of Rodney himself telling this joke to a doctor, the joke posted was this:

I get no respect.
I asked the nurse for a cup of coffee.  She brought me an iced latte.
I asked for a glass of juice.  She brought me a popsicle.
I said, "What do I gotta do to get a little warmth around here?"
She said, "What are you complaining about?  This is the morgue."

Rodney loved humor that made people uncomfortable, which explains his love of Andrew Dice Clay's and Sam Kinnison's works.  He discovered me on the internet and gave me opportunities to polish my writing style. Rodney exemplified the two commands/eight rules and was truly playing by the rules.

Forever and always, Rodney had my respect.