This is a letter I wrote to my wife. I hope to give it to her some day.

Please do not hate me

For I have done nothing wrong

I only want to be myself

To enjoy my life

The only way I know how

I realized how much I enjoy being the woman inside of me. Going on in secret is lonely to me and I want someone who I trust to hear me. I love being feminine and I love being a man as well. But my role as a woman is very much a part of me and for that I am not ashamed. I'm only scared that I will not be accepted by the ones I love the most. I know to shelter my young child from this secret only to avoid any confusion. Because of who I am I can understand people for who they are. To me that is a blessing since I can be very non judgmental to others. Acceptance it what society fears the most and I fear that it would ruin me personally. I would love to meet others who are just like me, who know how to enjoy themselves without the worry. How unfair life can be to people who have the gift of being a transgendered person who can live and feel both like a man and a woman.

I ask let me be me. I will not hurt you. I am still who I appear to be on the outside, its what's on the inside that makes me so special. I am not perverse or dangerous to anyone, and have done absolutely nothing wrong. If you are afraid to let me into your life as who I am then I am sorry. Not sorry for what I have done, since I have done nothing wrong, only sorry that you cannot open up your heart and let me in. I love you always but need to explore my inner soul if I want to continue being happy. My only regret is that I didn't tell you sooner but as I said I was afraid of what might happen. Try to find it in your heart to still love me for all my strengths and flaws. This however is not a flaw since I am not ashamed of what I am. Share in my happiness and we can be happier for it. You are not the first person to find this out about a loved one and you will not be the last. Many totally accept this and even help with the support needed by people like us. I need that too and ask that you are willing to at least let me be who I am and be with me when I am my inner self.

Shelley