Is Being Gay Learned or Is It Instinct?

 

Pain Verses Pleasure:

It is instinct to be as comfortable as possible.

Pain is instinctual in all animals. Without it, animals would run into rocks and hurt themselves. Animals would walk on broken limbs and they would not heal. Without pain, these animals would never learn not to run into rocks, cactus needles or jump off of very high places.

Pain and discomfort tell animals when they are injured, out of breath, hungry, sleepy or have to use the bathroom. Without these triggers, animals would die shortly after birth.

Pleasure is also instinctual. It allows animals to know when conditions have been met. It tells them that they are no longer hungry or animals would over feed them selves and die. That they are no longer sleepy or they would sleep forever and die. Or that their skin no longer itches or they would scratch themselves to death. Sexual pleasure is how animals know to reproduce, therefore ensuring survival of the species.

So, it is quite obvious that pain and pleasure are definitely needed for survival. But, what is not so obvious is that pain and pleasure help dictate our moods. If someone has a headache, they are more prone to being in a grumpy mood. If a dog has a wound on its nose, it may be prone to biting someone that may try to pet it. If cats are feeling well, they may curl up and start to purr. As well as if birds are doing well, they may sing. In people, sexual pleasure brings a whole host of moods and emotions, depending upon the situation. It can help reinforce friendship, bonding and love. It can also foster envy, jealousy and hate. Since it is clearly instinctual to maintain a physical comfort level as survival depends on it, animals and people go a long way to pursue this sense.

Comfort Levels:

The problem comes in when people overstep their bounds when dealing with their own comfort. For example one person continually irritates a second person. Since their comfort level is disturbed, they kill the first person. Or a person is hungry, so they steal someone's food. A kid doesn't have a leather jacket, so they rob someone. These acts now start a chain reaction of other people having their comfort levels diminished. They may retaliate against the thieves and murders by chastising them, holding a trial and putting them in jail, by killing them, stealing/destroying their property or by other means. The reasons behind why people act badly get tremendously complicated. But, most of their actions condense down to the fact that someone was hurt, emotionally and/or physically (their instinctual comfort levels were compromised) by a parent, loved one, a friend, a stranger or by society at large and so they retaliate and start a perpetual cycle.

Morality:

This is where the emotion of morality comes into play. Morality helps define that while a person is maintaining their comfort levels (physical needs of food, water, etc. and emotional needs of happiness, etc.) not to infringe upon the comfort levels of other people. The emotion of morality is instinctual as well. As without it, one small act would eventually cause a chain reaction of a downward spiral that would lead to murder and the end of the species. Morality stops this spiral from happening.

People have many instincts built in to help ensure the survival of the species. Most everyone have the same instincts. But, not everyone goes about fulfilling these instincts in the same manner. Hunger, for example, may be fulfilled in many different ways such as hunting, fishing, farming, going to a farmers market, shopping at a general grocer or going to a restaurant. Sexual pleasure is no different. The instinct to have sex can be fulfilled in a variety of manners.

The instinct to have sex is driven by many other instinctual senses. Male dogs can smell when a female dog is in heat. A bird can hear the song of another bird. A man can see the shapely form of a woman. A woman can see the chiseled form of a man. All of these can trigger a sexual response. These instincts are how animals know to have intercourse with the opposite sex of the same species or the species will not survive.

Evolution:

But, instincts are continually being mixed. Notably, that while most salmon have the instinct to swim upstream to spawn, many do not and spawn in their current location. Many salmon do not swim downstream and live their lives where they were hatched. Many geese have the instinct to migrate to the warmer climates of the south for the winter, but some do not and survive the winters without moving. While most animals have the instinct to have sex with the opposite sex, some do not. While bisexuality is mostly noted in humans, it is also seen in some species of monkeys, dolphins, seahorses and others. All clown fish are born female. Once one female pairs with another female, the larger more dominate female becomes male.

All of these animals have in common that although their instincts are different from the others of their same species, the instincts are not life threatening. Unlike most instincts, death does not occur if sex does not result in reproduction. Death would occur if animals didn't eat when they were hungry or if they ate rocks.

So, if a species had mixed instincts that caused some of them to eat rocks and others to eat leaves, the ones that ate rocks would die before they had a chance to reproduce and would not carry that instinct to another generation. But, if a species had mixed instincts that caused some of them to be attracted to the opposite sex and some to be attracted to both sexes, both would reproduce and a bisexual instinct would carry forward in some of them.

Nobody Is Gay or Straight:

Bisexuality is a loose term as it is difficult to label someone a heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. No one is merely gay or straight. Simply put, everyone has sexuality, as it is a gray scale ranging from the mild to the extreme. Mild forms may be when a girl looks at a young woman and innocently remarks that she is a pretty lady. A man may notice that another man at the office has a striking appearance. Similarly, when a mother sees a small girl on a television commercial and thinks that she is a cute kid. Although these people may happily engage only in heterosexual matters, they are, none the less, homosexual sentiments. The extreme would be when a woman desires sex from all men that she comes in contact with or the man that simply must make a pass at most of the women he meets. There are just as many places in this gray scale of sexuality, between one extreme and the next, as there are people.

Therefore, everyone has at least some minute amount of bisexuality and therefore nobody is heterosexual or homosexual. But, for illustration purposes within these documents, I will allow those people that label themselves heterosexual to maintain that label. Also for illustration purposes, I will refer to the rest as bisexual.

Instinct Versus Learned:

It is known that the desire to have sex is instinct, but the main debate is whether sexuality is actually instinct or learned. It is quite obvious that sexuality is instinct. Otherwise, animals would not know to have sex with males, females, other species, plants or physical objects like rocks. Obviously, as children are growing into puberty, they do not need to be specifically taught to have intercourse only with other humans. Although, if they experience feelings of bisexuality, they may investigate whether or not to act upon those feelings. They investigate rather than immediately act, as there are consequences of being labeled, such as being teased, harassed, robed, beaten or even killed. Swiftly, they observe others' behavior.

Name Calling:

It is difficult for people to handle things in large chunks, such as the entire population having varying degrees of sexuality. So, people break things down into more manageable pieces. Society does this by arranging people into groups in which they attach labels. So, the man that is happily married to a woman, but still may notice that another man looks nice in a new suit, is lumped into the same group as the man that is completely neutral towards other males. The same as when a wife is happily married to her husband, but occasionally desires sex with another woman, is lumped in with the woman that only engages in sex with other women. When people are forced into groups and given labels, they become easy targets to be labeled as good or bad. The people that are labeled as bad now infringe on other's comfort levels (as discussed earlier) and are subject to retaliation for just being human.

The Small Numbers of Gays:

Since heterosexuality is labeled as good and bisexuality is labeled as bad, it is quite obvious that most people with any inkling of bisexuality would try to deceive others into thinking that they too are heterosexual to avoid being labeled as bad and suffer retaliation through humiliation, emotional and physical abuse. This makes the number of bisexuals appear smaller as they force themselves into a label of normal. Thus, a lot of bisexuals blend into society without notice.

The Promiscuous Lifestyle:

To avoid the consequences of other people, some find it a necessity to live a double life, one of a heterosexual for work, family and other public reasons and another of a bisexual for their personal life. To further deter the possibility of abuse, they try to be as anonymous as possible by having sex in places that would not give away their identity (such as public places) and by having sex without giving their real or full names. Therefore, the relations that they build are superficial. These people are merely trying to avoid the torment of other people, but yet are being chastised for living the life they are forced to lead. They would not live in seclusion and anonymity if society did not force them.

 

Peace:

But, other bisexuals do not attempt to masquerade. They are more open. They have loving, caring relationships that outlast many heterosexual marriages. (About 40% of all heterosexual marriages will end in divorce within the first 5 years). Bisexuals tend to be more devoted and understanding of their mate. They are also more open-minded than most people in general and they tolerate society with hopes that it will learn and grow. Most people simply want to live in peace.

 

 

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