The cultural references in this one are a bit obscure if you're not from south east Queensland in Australia, but bear with me if you would.

A friend challenged me with the title "Cow in Heat". A direct attack didn't seem promising, but then I thought of the Big Cow, a legendarily tacky fibreglass monument to the dairy industry in Nambour.

Now, also near the town of Nambour there are a number of extinct volcanoes known as the Glasshouse Mountains, which have been woven into a story in the Dreaming, or mythology, of the local aborigines. The aboriginal names for the mountains, like Tibrogargan, are wonderfully atmospheric.

So why not combine the two legends?

Big Cow Dreaming
(or, Cow in (the) Heat)

In the torrid Queensland summer
Where the days are long and lazy
'Tween the jungles and the ocean
By the steamy northern jungles
And the great Pacific ocean
And the mystic Glasshouse mountains
With the mighty Tibrogargan
Hiding in the swirling heat haze
Stands the ancient Big Cow gazing
At the far off blue horizon
At the ocean and the seagulls
And the sleepy town of Nambour
At her feet the people gather
Devotees intent on worship
Worship of the flanks so tender
And the lofty tail descending
And the children of the people
Point and stare at every feature
But the Big Cow is unheeding
Gazing at the far horizon
Of the people and the children
And the sleepy town of Nambour
Staring at the far horizon
Thinking of an ancient passion
When the Big Cow was a heifer
Times the people have forgotten
Even those who know the Dreaming

In an ancient Queensland summer
When the days were long and lazy
In the grasslands of the Outback
Stood and grazed a certain heifer
By the side of her companion
Scorched by blazing summer sunshine
Yet their passion was the hotter
Hotter than the western desert
Or the steamy northern jungle
And their passion was the longer
Over countless summers growing
But before a consummation
Consummation of their passion
Carelessly she lost her lover
Straying briefly, but an instant
Lost him in the swirling heat haze
Never to be reunited
Though she sought him without ceasing
Sought him in the western desert
And the steamy northern jungle

In the torrid Queensland summer
Where the days are long and lazy
By the jungles and the ocean
And the sleepy town of Nambour
Stands the lonely Big Cow waiting
Waiting to be reunited
Reunited with her lover
And the passing people wonder
What the Big Cow may be thinking
Gazing at the wide blue ocean
And the mystic Glasshouse mountains
But they cannot guess the reason
That the lonely Big Cow fancies
That the mighty Tibrogargan
Or another Glasshouse Mountain
Dancing in the swirling heat haze
Is her lover come to find her
And to consummate their passion
Hotter than the western desert
Or the steamy northern jungles
In the torrid Queensland summer.