Subject: An Open Letter To My Family

From: ***** ***** *****

What I have to say will come as a shock to some of you and will probably be expected by other’s. As most of you know my outward appearance has changed greatly over the last 10 years or so. What is not generally known is that I have known since I was very young that I was a transsexual! For those of you who don’t know what that term means, basically it’s the conviction of the person involved, whether genetic male or genetic female at birth, was born the wrong gender. The latest statistics on this phenomenon now show that this happens in about 1 in every 30,000 individuals. This "Gender Dysphoria" as it is now called appears with varying degree’s of severity. Some people are able to handle it with only minor discomfort while others must physically alter their bodies to conform to their perceived gender. After years of struggling with this, I find that I fall into this second category.

Most people only know what they see on the talk show’s about transexualism! This is all trash! What is shown on show’s like "Jerry Springer" and other’s is just sensationalism for ratings. Transsexual’s are no different from anyone else other than having the conviction that they were born the wrong gender and wish to correct it. Much like a birth defect.

Actually I’ve known this since I was about 12 years old. I have always felt considerable guilt and self revulsion growing up due to being a transgendered child. I knew that I would be ostracized by society and friends if it were known. Hence I went way overboard into the more masculine pursuits, i.e., motorcycle’s, auto racing, hang gliding, skydiving, and so on. None of this worked however and I sank into almost 20 years of depression. I visited doctor after doctor looking for a chemical means of alleviating the symptoms. I never told even the doctor’s the true cause of my depression. I did however go so far as to contact John’s Hopkins Medical Center in 1980 and inquire about their Gender program. Later I destroyed the paperwork from them along with all the other information I had acquired on transexualism in what’s known as a "Purge". The one thing that I did garner from all my research was that it wasn’t something that was "curable"! Unless you consider Gender Reassignment a cure, which I do at least.

I went on with life as best I could until 1989 when on the verge of suicide I confided in my spouse that I was TS and I felt I would either have to transition at some point or my depression would get to the point that I would kill myself. As you can imagine my spouse was shocked and hurt. I gave her all the literature I had managed to re-collect on the subject and let her read up on the subject. I fully expected to be thrown out of our house and at that point offered to leave if she wished and give her everything in a divorce settlement. She said that she would rather have me alive and female than dead and male! I had first started my transition in 1990 but before it could proceed anywhere I was laid off from the mine I worked at. It wasn’t until I returned to work in 1994 that I was able to proceed with my transition plans. However at this point my spouse became sick with leukemia and her welfare took precedence over all else so my transition was set back once again. After she was on the road to recovery I once again started my preparations. Our daughter was told about everything in 1996 and has been very understanding and compassionate about everything. Both my spouse and daughter have attended some of the required therapy sessions that I had to go through before I would even be considered for surgery. I finally came out to my Mother in 1997 and Dad in 1998. I will be eternally thankful to my family for not throwing me to the dogs as so many of my TS friends have been by their families.

I started on my own journey to finally become the person I have always truly thought I should have been in 1994. At that time I started on female hormones, electrolysis, went into therapy, and had already lost 91 lbs. in preparation for it. I was diagnosed with "GID", "gender identity disorder" an have now gone through all the years of therapy, hormone’s and my "real life test" of actually living as a woman! I am now at the point in my transition when I need to let the rest of the family know what is happening with me and hope that you will all try to understand. I am now living in North Carolina as a female and am taken as such there. As most of you already knew I looked very androgynous the last few years anyway. I have taken the name that my mom had chosen for me at birth if I had been born female: Nora Elizabeth Cress, the first name of both her mother and dad’s mother. This is now my legal name on all my forms of identification and I would appreciate being addressed as such in the future. I know that this will be very difficult for most to get used to, all I ask is that you try.

I ask you all to please try to understand that I’m not trying to hurt anyone by doing this. This is just something that I have always felt that I would have to do sooner or later and it just happens that now is that time. I will try to respect the feelings of the family and not have an in your face attitude about my transition. If anyone wishes to ask me questions about my transition I will do my best to answer them for you. If it’s anyone’s wish that they rather not see me again I will try to honor that request as best I can also. I WILL NOT however be ashamed of who and what I am!!! I have always tried to be an honorable person and I don’t think that has changed any with my transition and surgery. Please don’t harass my parent’s, my spouse, or daughter about something that they have no control over! My family and I still intend to do our best to stay together and I intend to provide for them financially. After I finish transition I will be living and working in North Carolina.

This is now and always has been my own decision to make and I have made it and carried it out to the best of my ability to do so. I’ve written this letter as a means of letting the family I still care about know that I’m not much different than the person you’ve known all these years. The packaging is a bit different but inside I still have the same values I always did, be they good or bad. No matter what rumors you may hear about me most aren’t true. Am I a transsexual? Yes! Do I have Aids, cancer, or any number of other diseases or am I a Republican? No! Was I ever unfaithful to anyone I was married to? No!

All I’m asking now is to be treated with the same respect that any human being deserves!

Sincerely,