Just by the fact that you are reading this crap ,
I gather you are sittin pretty comfy in life
compared with the rest of the world's population .
You have your eyesight , most likely in color ,
not having that blessing would most certainly suck .
Since you are in front of some sort of web thing ,
you most likely have most of your hands and fingers ,
which come in real handy even if you ain't got no job !
You are cozy , sheltered and hugged up online ,
luxuriating in all the technological wonders
of the turn of this great milllenium .
And if you're a bona fide red-blooded American ,
yer extra extra super-duper lucky !
Life don't get no better than this , Comrade !
Woof !

Hmm , now imagine being born to Mongolian peasants ,
so poor that y'all scrape lichen off the rocks to eat
and your hovel is made out of old sardine cans .
And you were born mongoloid to boot !
Now that would really bite balls !
Especially where it's cold !?!
File that noise !

Or what if you led the full fast-lane life
of that icey cold blue baby
they found in the slimey dumpster ,
discarded by the 12 year old girl ,
who's alkie father would beat the wits out of her
if he knew she was pregnant , or even doin it .
Whew ! It's a good thing she tossed yer ass out ,
you would have made her life even more fucked-up !

Naw , you need to turn your big fat head around
and see how good you really have it .
My rent is always late , and sometimes
I go to bed all horny and hungry ,
but lemme tell ya , Life is Good !

As long as I have a roof over my head ,
a cool shirt on my back , some cheap food ,
and a place to get my hog wet ,
things can't possibly be bad !

Here we are a-moanin about our sore back
or pissed off because our hair looked shitty all day ,
and a flat tire would even disgruntle the pope ,
but meanwhile ,
some poor soul just got mangled up
by some drunk-ass driver ,
a kid down at the health center just found out
their test indicated positive for HIV ,
and yet another typhoon has washed swarms
of people with cool headgear into the rice paddies ;
or think of the tragedy of bearing
Michael Jackson's rare skin affliction !

I'm not a religious man ,
but Bubbas and Bubbettes ,
you gotta count your multiple blessings !
You may be suprised !
I am all the time !

Even you selfish souls are lucky to be alive ,
you are given the tyrannical opportunity
to deeply influence others constantly ! Everyday !
For example , fellow Gentlemen ,
there are three very special little words
that every woman will take to the grave ,
always remembering the very moment you uttered them .
And so , you have chiseled the rest of her life !
Don't believe me ? Try these three morsels :
" You look old . "

Yeah , you are the royalty over your own little world !
And you reign supreme !
Isn't it good to be King !
or Queen ?