Yo !
By now I'm sure you've realized that I'm neither
a scientist nor a man of equations .
And the only times I've been to college
was to admire the architecture ,
get laid , or buy drugs .
Yet my human desire to learn about a little of all
has dead-ended into the the sub-atomic world .
Everything is made of the same damn stuff .
One of the best-kept secrets of science ,
Dave Slaven's Homepage
The Particle Adventure Home Page
Cambridge Relativity Page
American Institute of Physicists
The Electron Centennial
You , a rock , even your Daddy's dirty underwear
are all composed of cute little atoms .
And what are those atoms made of ?
About 99% nothing !
That's right ! Zilch .
Everything is just overwhelmingly nothing !
Now , a fact like that freaks me out enough .
But it gets even spookier !
B O O !
The tiny 1% which makes up the atom
totally defies our reasoning and imagination .
The elementary bits that make up the atom
(quarks , leptons , gluons , and other cool names those wacky science guys come up with to spice up their lives)
barely even exist !
They are merely clouds of possiblilties ,
only to come into being if and when we decide
to measure the little buggers !
a shameful skeleton in the lab closet ,
is the fact that physicists
have lost their grip on reality.
Quantum theory is the most comprehensive
and accurate theory known to man,
describing nature at all scales
from quark to quasar
and forming the foundation for numerous technologies
including lasers, semiconductors and nuclear power.
But the price those guys in white coats
have paid for this powerful theory
is the loss of an overall picture of how the world works.
Doesn't that sound dramatic ?
No fear , the ol' world keeps tickin' ,
and this ol' dog keeps lickin' .
Now what the heck does " quantum " mean , anyways ?
It refers to the sub-atomic particles
comin' atcha in tiny quantities of energy ,
nothing mysterious at all , Bubba .
And 'quantum mechanics' is more or less
just a form of calculus , a study of probability .
I ain't no mathematician , I can barely can count Basie ,
so I'll just have to trust the numbers .
Reality is ruled by such zany laws and ideas as
" The Heisenberg Uncertainty " and
" The Copenhagen Interpetation "
( these are not 70's spy movies )
which demand that we will never ever
really know what's up .
So don't feel alone , physicists are your peers .
We are delving in realms way too small for us
to visualize ; as proof you should read the wacko
theories spewed across the net , such as :
" Quarks are a manifestation of Buddhism " !
Nigga , please !
I won't attempt to describe anything ,
I can't even come up with a decent excuse for
calling in sick from work ,
so I'll leave the explanations to the ones
who can bravely tackle the subject at hand...
This guy explains it all in a language
even this old Dog can grasp !
He mercifully uses equations to the bare minimum ,
and proves even science schlubs can be cool...
...in a white bread sort of way...
This is an excellent all-encompassing site designed for
students , so if it doesn't give you a clue ,
I won't tell a soul , not even yo mama.....
enjoy the fabric of the Universe in layman's terms !
Cambridge ? Ain't that where that cool guy
in the wheelchair teaches ?
only if you're really into that crap
Particle Physics and History ?
Bring your canteen , cuz you know it's gonna be dry !
