boku no egao wa...doku ni aru no?
kanashimi wa yasashii warai da.
kyozetsu wa shinsetsu na shiawase da
...shikashi....
warui kibun....ii kibun
onaji desu yo.
Boku wa mukanshin desu yo
...demo namida ga kuru...
naze?
 

::Translation::

Where is my smile?
Sadness is gentle laughter
Rejection is kind happiness
However...
Bad feelings, Good feelings,
it's all the same.
I am indifferent...
but the tears come..
why?
 
 

FORGET

All things red are dead or dying
Blood from the wounds,
to the flame that consumes them
the body looks on me
with placid eyes.
calling me to follow
and the shriveled, bony fingers
grab me and throws me
to the cold, dust covered floor
The once placid eyes
turn upon me with rage
and I am Fearful
for resins I can't determine
I was lured here,
by the devil,
by the dark.
joining against me for my allegiance
to the light and good.
It descends on me while I sleep.
I pray to keep my soul.
but then as if an angel came
to save me from these terrors
I hear a single word
"FORGET"

DEAD

I never felt a pain so deep
a pain that has made me weep
brushing inside, a pain that leaps
a pain within my soul i keep

Looks at me with anxious eyes
bringing with it a silent suppress
twisting an turning around me it flies
I watch it as it moves to rise

And to this day it's in my head
it strikes me when too much is said
and will be with me when i die in bed
It can't be stopped for SHE IS DEAD.

The Flame I

Someone cut back the Flame
The flame that came from me
it's true
Can't you see the Fire?
In my eyes,
In my tears,
In my fears,
Is it the mere Superiors
who keep my fire from becoming an Inferno?
surrounding me with
the guilt stone and brick,
and take their pick,
and stick it in my face.
So I'll take my fire,
and burn the desire,
but someday I'll fall...
Can't you see it at all?
I am the Flame

20 Grams

Something took away my brain.
I can't control it anymore.
Oh, at times I can, but then it's gone.
I need the pills to keep me alive.
but it seems like all i am is the pills,
But then i haven't taken them lately,
and my true self is showing forth.
A green and yellow mask the sits on my face
But it i wrote this when i was sane,
I would have told you that the monster came back again,
Of all the fears I fear, I fear him the most.
but there will always be a passion,
to have a visit, Oh! The comforting hot black world that takes me.
it is normal for me, it has become a part of the that my sane side despises
and my darkness loves.
he is necessary,
and a nuisance when I don't expect him.
The doctors say it's in my brain,
but I say it's in my heart, and a heart cannot be changed...
Only be covered with a mask that is a centimeter long and 20 grams of happiness.

TRAPS

Free once again!
let me bounce off the walls!
free from the pain!
I wish I could help my friends
get out of their own traps,
but the lock is on the inside,
only they can reach.
I could help them find it if they would only listen...
For, the longer you stay in your trap,
the worse the chances are for ever getting out.
And the greater the risk of falling back in.
Each person's trap is unique.
Some are unlighted cells,
and some are unclean cages,
even more are filled with pillows, until you cannot breath.
but no matter what your trap,
they have bars you cannot see,
and the lock are covered,
by your desire to break free.

SADNESS

Tears will fall from my face
whenever I see sadness
When someone cries,
I cry with them,
I'm well aquatinted with sadness.

How can you hold that face,
when i know inside you're crying?

A warm dark blanket that stays for a while,
of hate, love, death, or madness

The Salty tears roll down my face,
The sweet caress of sadness.

DEATH                        ***WARNING*** TRIGGERING MATERIAL

Trust me,
Big spot Painted,
Red Blood,
On me
For me
By me
By you through me
Invades,
Fights Weakly,
Stops strongly,
knows me
Like me
I do too
as it does.
looks strait ahead in my eyes
Penetrates
Ice and Fiery Dreams
Dreams of Angels,
Dreams of Flame
I lived in pleasure,
but remember the Pain
White light
in the night
Lost the life
but won the fight.

TIRED                            ***WARNING*** VERY TRIGGERING MATERIAL

I'm Tired of crying
I'm tired of all the things you do,
all of you.
I'm tired of trying to win.
I'm tired of living
I wish God would let me die.
I wish God would lift my problems away from me.
I need it cool and quiet
I want to sleep forever
Leave me alone
They don't listen
And I get so angry
everyone bugs me
It's so hot and crowded
everyone is yelling real close
like a circle of fire around me

THE FLAME II

Someone became a flame
the flame that came form you
It's true
I can see the fire
In your eyes
In your tears
In your fears
I can see all the hidden fears
that feed your fire
and turns it into inferno.
Surrounds you with
the guilt and loneliness
so take your pick
and choose and emotion
So I'll take your fire
and withstand the fire
I won't see you fall
Can't you see it at all?
I WAS A FLAME.

AOI USAGI

The world is only an illusion inside my troubled head, there's a world  you can see.

When the world seems sad and gloomy, I can't wash the tears away, leaving behind trails of salty water for another day.

I can see the water, gleaming in the night light, so lowly lighted by the moon.
Lay before me presents, Shower me with gifts and I will heed your call.

When the world gives up on me I will promise that you'll see another silence approaching at the speed of light,
Let the doomsday come, they'll be sorry when I'm done, let me live as I need to live.

and let your pulses be racing, you have never seen fire before, and when I unleash my fury, all life will cease to exist.

When the world gives up on me I will promise that you'll see another silence approaching at the speed of light,
Let the doomsday come, they'll be sorry when I'm done, let me live as I need to live.

RAZOR BLADE BAD        ***WARNING***  VERY TRIGGERING MATERIAL

My Razor's thirsty
from how long I've been denying it.
I feel like giving it one last great drink.
Just let it all fade away,
in my last hour here
I don't want to be here anymore
I don't feel like taking all this shit anymore
I'm so tired of living like this,
that I wish I had the guts to take the knife
Because I'm feeling Razor Blade Bad today
It's just too sad today,
that I wish there was no today at all.

WASTED

I wanted freedom
they put me here
they wanted control,
I said "who cares?"

They had asked me
what I had wanted
what I told them
They Disregarded

I have my fears
and I have my doubts,
although I am wasted,
inside and out

I feel in love with
the blood in my veins,
So now I don't notice
That much of the Pain

Someone Once told me
That I am to blame
but that person and me
are one in the same

I heard a closed mind
does not leak,
and an open mind
is inclined to speak

So what's the difference?
I don't care
It doesn't matter,
How I fare

So what's the Problem?
I'll never know
I'm so tired of trying
'Cause I'll never grow

What can I do to stop this?
I play with the pills,
lining them up,
and looking at my ticket to escape
I'm confused inside,
I don't know what to do.
Should I try?
Will I die?
34 tranqs
all laid out
all I need is a glass of water...
or vodka...

I walk in my world,
I am alone
though strangers keep passing by,
each with a different scary face
So I just keep walking by
and I wonder,
if any of those scary faces
could be alone like me.

I'm on the floor,
I can't get up,
Though I Keep Struggling to free these chains
each with a purpose and personality,
so I just keep talking to myself
and I wonder,
if anyone else could hear me,
are there more, here, down on the floor?

I am outside,
I'm in the rain,
Trying to cool off from this pain I feel
of those who push me closer to the edge
of a cliff that they set up
and I wonder,
if any of these pushing people,
know what it's like to be pushed like this

I'm sitting down,
and i'm trying not to fall
i stare blankly ahead,
trying to figure out my thoughts

Who are you?
I don't know you,
but i hate you
Where did you come from?
Who sent you?
Was it God?
The dark prince?
or did you come out of your own will?
Are you only the messanger?
or are you the master?
Why are you trying to take controll of me?
You cannot have this soul
I will resist
I do not know who will win,
or who is winning,
I do not know what side is stonger,
I do not know why you want me to die
All i know is that i must live,
if not for myself,
then for my family and friends
Go away,
dark creature of hell
You are not desired,
and you are not welcomed here
find someone else to obey you
Or i will destroy you

I stand up,
take one last look in the mirror,
and smash it