I Am
Mary Ellen, and...
I CUT.
Yes, I know bad you feel when you cut. There are many Reasons why you would
cut, or involve yourself in self-injury. You may have been the subject
of abuse, or you may just feel like you're a bad person, like me.
There are nights when i feel like commiting suicide, but I don't. Sometimes
you just have to remind yourself that death is not worth it.
SUICIDE
IS A PERMANANT SOLUTION TO WHAT MAY BE A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.
Here
I will Tell you My story.
**May
Be Triggering**
I have had depression since 7th grade, and i've had my ups and downs. I
hated my teachers, and I was angry all the time. I wanted to go to a Catholic
school, so i did. But things just got worse. the academic pressures increased,
and i found myself not functioning in school at all. They put me back in
public school, and i was diagnosed with depression.
I started my self-injury now, by biting my lip and squeezing the blood
out. I was put on Prozac, and i felt better in 8th grade, but i was not
doing school work, and i was graded on how well i behaved. in 9th grade
i began a friendship with another girl who had her own, and very different
problems. I worried about her all the time, and became depressed again.
In 10th grade, i met a realy wonderfull friend, named Leeor. (He's realy
a good friend: ) I felt better. I helped him with his depression,
and it frustrated me, and i had bouts of depression, but later in the year,
when the academic pressures led up again, i got depressed again. that was
last summer. I now have just started a special school, and I hope that
it will work out. I started to cut myself with shaving razor blades, last
year. Yesterday, i meakly tried to kill myself with a one of those blades,
but i couldn't stand the pain, which was a blessing to me.
Please know that I understand, and when i
see someone with those battle scars, that i know so well, i hope and pray
that they will be all right. Please talk to someone if you self-Injure.
there are people that care about you.
--Mary Ellen
