Once upon a time in the kingdom
of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel
found Him in a remote spot off to the
side of the universe. He enquired
of God, "Where were you? Everyone was
really worried!"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction
and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds. "Look,
my loyal servant. Look at what I'm making."
The Archangel Michael was puzzled.
"What is it?" He asked. "It's a planet,
and I'm putting LIFE on it! I've
named it 'Earth' and there's going to be a
balance between everything on it.
For example," he pointed, "there's North
America and South America. North
America is going to be rich and South
America is going to be poor, and
the narrow bit joining them - that's going
to be a hot spot. Now look over
here. I've put a continent of white people
in the north, and another one of
black people in the south. See?"
"Wow!" the archangel voiced his
praise, scanning his eye over this wondrous
Creation. "And what's that long
white line there?" "Ahhh," God said,
tapping His nose. "That's
New Zealand - the land of the long white cloud.
That's a very special place. That's
going to be the most glorious spot on
earth-beautiful mountains, lakes,
rivers, streams, fascinating flora and
fauna, and an exquisite coast-line.
The people there are going to be
modest, intelligent and humorous,
and they'll be found travelling all over
the world. They'll be extremely
sociable, hard working and high achieving.
And I'm going to give them this
superhuman, undefeatable rugby team which
will be blessed with the most talented,
and charismatic specimens on the
planet, and will be admired and
feared by all who come across them."
Michael the Archangel gasped in
wonder and admiration, but paused... "Hold
on a second, Oh Father... what
about the balance? You said there was going
to be balance in all things..."
God chuckled.
"Wait until you see the neighbours
I'm going to give them