On a farm
out in the country lived a man and a woman and their
three sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking
out of the window
onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's
only cow was
lying dead in the field. The situation looked
hopeless to
her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her
family now?
In a depressed
state of mind, she hung herself. When the man
awoke to find
his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to
see the hopelessness
of the situation, and he shot himself in the
head. Now the
oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead
(and the cow!),
and he decided to go down to the river and drown
himself. When
he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid
sitting on the
bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason
for your despair.
But if you will have sex with me five times in
a row, I will
restore your parents and the cow to you." The son
agreed to try,
but after four times, he was simply unable to
satisfy her
again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second
oldest son woke up. After discovering what had
happened, he
too decided to throw himself into the river. The
mermaid said
to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a
row, I will
make everything right." And while the son tried his
best (seven
times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so
she drowned
him in the river.
The youngest
son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow
in the field,
and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a
hopeless prospect,
and he went down to the river to throw himself
in. And there
he also met the mermaid.
"I have seen
all that has happened, and I can make everything
right if you
will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son
replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a
row?" The mermaid
was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then
he said, "Hell,
why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as
she was reluctantly
agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not
THIRTY times
in a row?"
Finally, she
said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me
thirty times
in a row, then I will bring everybody back to
perfect health."
Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know
that thirty
times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"