Following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempt to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.
1. Coming home
I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other
car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3. I thought
the window was down, but I found out it was up, when I put my head through
it.
4. I collided
with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed
through my windshield into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian
hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was
all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away
from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over
the enbankment.
9. In an attempt
to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for
plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a
hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving for
40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12. I was on my way to the
doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me
to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection
a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared
before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the
bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked
as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car came
out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
17. I told the police that
I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured
skull.
18. I was sure the old fellow
would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no
idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20. I saw a slow-moving,
sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
21. The indirect cause of
the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
22. I was thrown from my
car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
23. The telephone pole was
approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck
the front end.