One misty Scottish morn a man
was driving through the hills to Inverness.
Suddenly out of the mist, a huge
red-haired highlander steps into
the middle of the road. The man
is about six foot seven and built
like a fucking tank.
He has a huge red beard and despite
the gale
force wind and freezing temperatures,
is wearing only his kilt
and his tweed shirt.
At the roadside there also stands
a young women. She is
absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely,
fair complexion.......
heart stopping. The car driver's
attention is dragged from the
girl when the highlander opens
his car door and drags him from
the seat onto the road.
"Right, you" he shouts, "I want
you to masturbate"
"but......" stammers the driver
"Now...or I'll bloody kill you"
So the driver turns his back on
the girl, drops his trousers and
starts to masturbate. Thinking
of the girl on the roadside, this
only takes a few seconds.
"Right" shouts the highlander "Do it again!"
"but....." says the driver.
"Now...." he bellows.
So the driver does it again.
"Right do it again" demands the highlander.
This goes on for nearly two hours.
The driver has cramps in both
arms, he has rubbed himself raw,
and despite the mist and wind,
has collapsed in a sweating jibbering
heap on the ground, unable to walk.
"Do it again" says the highlander.
"I just can't any more - you'll just have to kill me", whimpers the man.
The highlander looks down at the
pathetic heap slumped on the
roadside. "All right" he says,
"NOW you can give my daughter a
lift to Inverness".