It was George
the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of
carrying the
mail through all kinds of weather to the same
neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he
was greeted
by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly
congratulated
him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift
envelope.
At the second
house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at
the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.
At the fourth
house he was met at the door by a strikingly
beautiful woman
in a revealing negligee. She took him by the
hand, gently
led him through the door (which she closed behind
him), and led
him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his
mind with the
most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had
enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him
a giant breakfast:
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry
waffles, and
fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly
satisfied she
poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was
pouring, he
noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom
edge."All this was just too wonderful for words," he
said, "but what's
the dollar for?"
"Well," she said,
"last night, I told my husband that today would
be your last
day, and that we should do something special for
you. I asked
him what to give you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a
dollar.' The
breakfast was my idea."