A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and
is met by his servant at the station. This is the
conversation that they have on their way to his home.

"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"

"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."

"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something
must have happened in all that time."

"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."

"My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in
years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How
did he die?"

"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."

"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat
lying around for the dog to eat?"

"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for
some time after the barn burned down."

"Good heavens. How in the world did the barn burn down?"

"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."

"The *house*? The house burnt down, too? How did the
house burn down?"

"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."

"Oh. ... Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore
to light the house!

What were the candles doing there?"

"They were there for the wake, sir."

"The wake?!? Whose wake?"

"Your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."

"Oh my Lord. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along
with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother
die of?"

"It must have been the shock, sir."

"The shock?"

"Yes, sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the
handyman the day after you left, sir. But aside from
all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been
away, sir."