"Change is
inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Time is
what keeps everything from happening at once."
"Out of my
mind. Back in five minutes."
"Born Free.
. . . .Taxed to Death"
"The more
people I meet, the more I like my dog."
"Laugh alone
and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Conserve
toilet paper, use both sides."
"Sometimes
I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"All men
are Idiots, and I married their King!"
"SAVE A TREE:
Eat a beaver"
"Work is
for people who don't know how to fish"
"Montana
--- At least our cows are sane!"
"I didn't
fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"No Radio
- Already Stolen" (in the Heathen North they say that 'BMW' stands for
Break My Window')
"Real women
don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."
"I took an
IQ test and the results were negative."
"If we aren't
supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"I don't
suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
"Learn from
your parents mistakes - use birth control!"
"IRS: We've
got what it takes to take what you have got. "
"It's lonely
at the top, but you eat better."
"According
to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."
"Some people
are only alive because it is illegal to kill."
"A bartender
is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"Forget about
World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! "
"We are born
naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Puritanism:
The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Be nice
to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"There are
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Ever stop
to think, and forget to start again?"