I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon
in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us  the menus. It
seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a  random  thing. Until
our busboy came with water & tableware;  he, too, sported a spoon
in his breast-pocket.  I looked around the room, and all the
waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets.

When our waiter returned to take our  order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"
"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some
Andersen Consulting efficiency experts to review all our
procedures,and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded
that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any
other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation.
By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can
cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra
man  hours per shift."
Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and
he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll
grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of making a
special trip," he proudly  explained.

I was impressed. "Thanks. I had to ask." "No problem," he answered, then
he continued to take our orders.  As the members of my dinner  party
took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from each person ordering
and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a thin, black
thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to
scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters & busboys with
strings hanging out of their trousers.

My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could leave
I had to ask.  "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that string?"

"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that
observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the
Men's room,too."
"How's that?"
"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, selves, we can
pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate
the need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over 93%!"
"Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking thru the  process,  I asked
"Hey, wait-a-minute. If the string helps you  pull it out, how do you get it
back in?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my spoon."