May 16 98- 1:41pm

As I lay in bed I continued to think about being happy... or rather my lack of a situation. Right now I am like several students... hanging about waiting for classes to start. One week has already passed. I remember working during the summers and having a second job. Funny that this summer it is the other way around... me having the second job and trying to get back into my old one.

Part of me is getting fired up... like an old jet engine that has not been used for a while. I feel like I am getting a bit hot.... even angry. I feel like I am asking myself ‘what in the hell am I doing here.... I want out of here’. I look for some restraints and find none.

Geeze... give yourself a break. You’ve found yourself a job and you are working hard to find a second one. Don’t give up. Use the time you have to make sure you’ve got your bases covered.

May 27 98

my heart is numb... my fingers cold... my mind adrift... where am I headed? nowhere it would seem. I could go put on make-up.. but why? I could read. I could sleep. Where do I go?

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