Are You A Pain Slut?
This is a short quiz to help you determine whether or not you are addicted to pain. Please keep track of your answers, and see where you fall on the painometer.
1. You are attacked by a vicious pit bull. Do you:
A. Go to court to have the dog put to sleep.
B. Adopt the dog and start wearing rawhide undies.
2. The landlord warns you there's a bee's nest near your mailbox. Do you:
A. Demand he call an exterminator and have it removed.
B. Coat yourself in honey and check the mail.
3. At your annual check-up, the dentist tells you that you need a root canal. Do you:
A. Reluctantly make the appointment.
B. Tell him he might as well do root canals for all your teeth while you're there.
4. There is a police car behind you on the highway. Do you:
A. Check your speed and slow down if necessary.
B. Floor the car and lead him on a high-speed chase through 3 states.
5. You have a lot of keys on your keyring and no pockets on your outfit. Do you:
A. Hold the keychain in your hand while you shop.
B. Hook it on your nipple ring so you can do some hands-free shopping.
6. You've never been religious and you are invited to a wedding in a Catholic church. Do you:
A. Follow the ceremony as best as you can.
B. Wait in the pew until everyone is outside tossing rice at the bride and groom so you can pour the candle wax onto yourself.
7. Your best friend is struck by a car crossing the street. Do you:
A. Help out with household chores until she is recovered enough to do them on her own.
B. Go to the intersection and recreate the accident.
8. Putting together your new computer desk, you accidentally hit your thumb with the hammer. Do you:
A. Jump up and down while you curse in 5 different languages.
B. Suddenly decide there are better uses for the hammer and nails than putting together some lousy desk.
9. You get seats right behind the visiting team's bench during a hockey game. Do you:
A. Watch the game and cheer your team on.
B. Do your best to provoke the visiting team into meeting you outside the arena at the end of the game.
10. You drop a scalding coffee in your lap at the fast food drive-thru window. Do you:
A. Get a lawyer and sue the restaurant.
B. Masturbate yourself to orgasm and go back for a second cup.
SCORING:
Give yourself 1 point for each time you chose B.
0-1 Wannabe! You go to the hospital for paper cuts.
2-3 Wimp! My grandmother can take more than you!
4.5 You like a bit of excitement.
6-7 Living on the edge!
8-9 The Marquis de Sade would have loved you!
10 Have you considered professional help?
