It all started on October 4th, 1944.

All my life I knew that I was different, I didn’t fit in to what a boy was supposed to be. At birth a doctor prescribed my sex and for the longest time I had to live that sex. On all my legal documents the sex (M) is still there. I am now a senior citizen living in Ottawa, Ontario. Canada. My age has not stopped me from being involved.

In my early years, articles in the news paper would catch my attention like the Christine Jorgensen story. A soldier who had the first celebrated sex reassignment surgery in Denmark 1954. So called teen magazines would have a story "I caught my boyfriend wearing my clothes". I kept these stories hidden in my box with my girl's clothes in the basement of my home! The article finally became torn and unreadable, but the content was buried in my brain. I had dressed in my sister's clothes since I could remember and I really felt happy when ever I could do it. I also had two older brothers so dressing was, let's say, infrequent. So when ever the house was empty I dressed up. The idea of wearing pretty dresses, silky slips and lacy blouses was a therapy of some sort. Why did I have these feelings and why did I do it? During grade school my day dreams would be of wearing my pretty dresses to school some day. One story I have to tell. I was about 9 or 10. It was Christmas morning and the family tradition was to sit around the Christmas tree while dad passed out the presents. We each took turns as presents were handed to us. It was my turn and I was given a pretty wrapped present and my name was on the tag. I open the present with interest and inside was a Dale Evans cow girl skirt and vest with matching fringe outfit. (Dale Evans - Roy Rogers team) I looked at my parents in awe of this present. This present was for me? My reality came to a halt when I had to give the present to my sister. My grandmother had mixed up the name tags and this was her present. I almost cried as I gave the present back, I think I got a truck or something. My parents sometimes would find me dressed in a nightgown sleeping in my bed, but I was never punished. I had to remove the silky garment and put on my pajamas.

During early high school in my teens my parents sent me off to a private boys school in St. Catherines, Ontario. I had to learn to be a boy or get beaten up. After two years I was allowed to attend public high school in Ottawa, Ontario. Again, I was beat up more times than I can remember. Once I dared to wear lipstick the night before and some of it was still visible the next day and my lips were raw from trying to get it off. The bullies called me fairy as they kicked and hit me. I am sure that had I reported them to the principle, the beatings would have become more frequent. That's what they did to others. If I did report the abuse I would have been dragged off the Royal Ottawa Mental Hospital, thrown into a special room and the key to the room would be controlled by the resident psychiatrist. Remember this was in the late 50's . So I did not complain to anybody. The cross-dressing issue was a rare disease and it had to be cured. Computers were in their infancy and there were no books in the library dealing with the subject. I became a loner.

I started to work after high school learning to do guy things, denying my femininity. I worked in a foundry, a dirty job and the aroma of molten steel filled my lungs. I quit and went back to school learning the trades. I married in 1967 thinking that this feminine idea 'thing' would go away. It was the social concept prescribed by the social workers of that time period. I fathered two wonderful children who are by my side today. I bought the boy toys; boats, big cars, trying to be a man. If I practiced being a man it might wear off. I hid my true self. I became a technician in the field of air conditioning and refrigeration. Although the money was good, working by the hour I felt alone. I then went into private industry as a HVAC building systems technician for a large commercial complex. I was a dedicated employee, I loved my job. This was the first time in my life that I worked on a salary and had regular time off. In 1988 I became involved with Gender Mosaic, a cross-dressing support group, and met others like me. It was an oasis where I could share my feelings for the first time and listen to others dealing with their cross-dressing. It was like a rebirth!

For ten years I worked at this complex gaining respect for my abilities to fix high-end HVAC equipment. I worked statuary holidays and weekends. I was called in to fix equipment that other technicians failed to repair. I loved my job and the stability of a regular work schedule.

It all came to sudden stop one day when I was called into the managers office and FIRED. Some one had found out about me and my extracurricular activities. And the management did not want 'my kind' working in their building. I was escorted to my locker to remove my personal items and then to my car. I was banned from the premises for one year. Remember, this was in the late seventies and early eighties, and harassment in the work place was non existent. I had lost everything dealing with the company. I found a lawyer and I took my employer to court. I lost my case and a lot of money. The retainer for the lawyer, alone, cost me $2000.00. I also lost my sense of self-worth, my esteem, my sense of security and financial support. I was divorced. I became reclusive. I hit rock bottom.

Despite all the troubles that I had I kept my wits about me, Thank goodness I did not do anything drastic.

I was getting older, over qualified to find a job. My world was changing, I had to find social support to exist. By this time I was living full time as a woman. Welfare was my first stop. The welfare department screwed with my application, screwed with my gender, like I was a creep from the back woods. I had to deal with incompetent social workers and abusive Quebec welfare management. I had no choice but to deal with the system for ten years. My gender was in question. There was no respect for being english, and I was outed several times by the people working the reception even though I asked for respect and use my assumed name, Joanne. Several times a week I used the soup kitchens for food. A wonderful life for a transgender person, that's for sure.

My life went on. I broke away from the welfare system, and now living full time as a woman started a small business. I found a doctor to prescribe female hormones and I had my legal name changed to Joanne Law, It was my mother who gave me my name! During those difficult years of living on the system I did some crazy things. I became a visible transgender woman. I stood on my soap box preaching what I practiced. I took on volunteer positions to help others. at the same time helping myself knowing that I was a real person. In my outreach I became involved with the Ottawa Police Liaison Committee for the GLBT communities. I talked to the soup kitchens management I was becoming a human being again. I still volunteer with the police, Gender Mosaic, and several social support groups in Ottawa, I turned heads when talking to the press as my clothes did not match my voice. I have also been abused by my own community for making a statement. I was the only voice to state the facts. It was, "Joanne does this", and, "Joanne does that."

I have been invited to sit in board rooms when important decisions for the transgender community were being made. My volunteer outreach has helped open women's shelters to transgender women, opened the minds of social services in Ontario, open the doors to hospitals, care givers and crisis centres. I have been invited to sit at federal government harassment policies workshops, national and local union conferences. I have been documented by the national and local press and interviewed by three national television companies. I had the privilege to have my own weekly radio program for five years, "Joanne’s Closet". I have challenged Ottawa City Hall unions to include transgender identity/expression in their equity and diversity policy.

In 1994 I marched in my first pride parade representing the transgender community becoming involved with the gay, lesbian, bisexual communities. In fact since 1994 I have become very involved in the GLB communities. In 1996 I challenged city hall to add transgender to the pride proclamation giving a four minute speech to council. It was passed in 1997, now it is the GLBT PRIDE celebration. A rainbow flag now flies over city hall and our police headquarters during pride week. In 1999 I was elected 2nd chair, the first transgender woman to represent Capital Pride and again in 2007, I was elected vice chair, a proud position. 2007Another important event was being elected to the position of CHAIR of Canada’s 4th largest Capital Pride Festival in Ottawa, Ontario.

Over the years I have received many accolades for my work. In 1999 in Louisville Kentucky, USA, I received the prestigious TRINITY AWARD from the International Foundation for Gender Education at their annual national conference. I was the first Canadian in its twenty years history! Only three such awards are given out each year.

In 2005 I received the prestigious PIONEERS AWARD at Fantasia Fair, another international convention, in Provincetown Cape Cod, Mass. Again, I was the first Canadian in its 31 year history. A maximum of two such awards are given in any year.

I have had the honour of receiving three LIFE TIME ACHIEVEMENT Awards . The first is from Gender Mosaic, North America’s oldest transgender support group. The second is from Capital Xtra, a gay and lesbian publication in Ottawa, Ontario. The third is from Pink Triangle Services, a gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender outreach centre also in Ottawa, Ontario.

I was invited to a Canadian Leaders and Achievers conference, banquet and gala at the Governor General of Canada, Adrian Clarkson's residence, and to the Ottawa Police 150 year gala celebration, black tie and gown. Representivies from other police services across Canada in full dress uniform were there as well. And yes I did wear my basic black dress and shawl, classy but elegant.

This August 2007 I was honoured by the Ottawa Police Service for my dedicated outreach in educating the police and public.

I am still active in my outreach, with public speaking and the attending of meetings and just 'being there' when asked. Now there are others like me who are being heard, holding their heads up high, opening the doors, turning on the lights and tearing down the walls of prejudice.

I have a few pillars in my life to keep me focused. A transgender social support group, Gender Mosaic was just being formed back in 1998. In 2008 Gender Mosaic celebrated it's twenty year history. This support group was my oasis during my coming out, my evolution and activism. Over those twenty years I was elected president fourteen times, I think. in those early years members of Gender Mosaic donated many books to its library,. Some of these books, such as Tri Ess, Transvestia, and early volumes of Tapestry, to name a few, were an historic log of the crossdressing community. The library ended up in my apartment and I had a chance to read from authors who are our leaders today; Virginia Prince, Carol Beacroft, Dallas Danny, Allison Lang, Dr. Shela Kirk, and Marissa Sheryl Lynn, people who donated their time, writing, and sharing their inspiration. I read and reread those stories, wanting to do something here in Canada and in my home town, Ottawa, Ontario.

The Gender Mosaic Library of over one hundred books, magazines and other publications was donated to the Dr. Kelly McGinnis library at Pink Triangle Services in Ottawa, Ontario. I purchased and donated the shelving. The McGinnis library now comprises over six thousand volumes of GLBT history.

I have not forgotten my past as it has made me what I am to day. I am a very lucky Canadian lady. My adult children are standing beside me and I am a sister to my two older brothers and one younger sister. Hormones have done wonders for my body and soul, surgery is not in my vocabulary. I am free to be who I am, a transgender, chemically induced, lipstick lesbian. On the Canadian government census form there is two boxes to which one is supposed to indicate their gender. I cross out the male/female box and added TRANSGENDER WOMAN.

Just an update, In August 2007 I had attended my High School reunion. The feeling of seeing the principle’s office, the school cafeteria, the auditorium, the gym, and the memories of being beat up back then was overwhelming. The school was set up such that each classroom was a decade room with the year books from that decade. Mine was 1961. I found my graduation picture and a few others I knew. I was wearing my new name tag Joanne Law. I was asked if I had a sister and I explained yes and told the people that I was her brother then and pointed to my picture in the year book. Comments I received from my class mates of 1961 included phrases such as "Way to go!", "Congratulations!", and "Awesome!". We talked about times past, but my memory of most events seemed a blurr. To make things even better was my invitation to the beer tent to have a drink and share memories with these wonderful people. The cleansing of my high school days was complete. It was a wonderful weekend.

May 10th 2008 Gender Mosaic celebrated its 20th anniversary with a wine and cheese reception at Ottawa City Hall. Needless to say, I was there.

Would I do it all over again?

You bet!

Until next time.

Ta Ta… Joanne