gayhomophobia

Gay Homophobia

We are constantly bombarded with reports, images and messages about homophobia inflicted by heterosexuals. I wrote about this at length in another discussion. However, the older I get and the more I see of moffies, the more convinced I become that we are the most homophobic members of society, and are in fact our own worst enemies.

Let me elaborate. A couple of weeks ago I was watching a programme on SABC called "Fresh". What I saw sickened and enraged me as a gay man. The topic of the programme was "performance art", which its proponents seem to think is something new – whatever has ballet, opera, and all manner of singing, dancing and entertainment over the past millenia been, one wonders? Anyway, featured on the programme was the one man freak show aka Stephen Cohen. Looking like a radiation mutated transvestite from the crazed imagination of an inmate of Tara, Miss Cohen proceeded to dance around, expose his genitals, shit into a glass, and drink his shit. This act sickened me, as it seemed to most of the audience (and I suspect most of the viewers). But my anger mounted as he explained, in a pale pastel voice, that he did what he did because he was gay, had grown up hating himself, now accepted himself, the good as well as the shit, yada, yada, yada. I ask you! Is this supposed to represent us, the gays of South Africa? Well, to straight viewers’, ignorant of what being gay is all about, it simply reinforced their stereotypes that we are people who are freaks, dress in drag, indulge in filth and eat each others’ shit! How dare he go on national TV and portray gays like this? With the likes of this demented individual around, we don’t need straights to be homophobic. We are doing a great job of it ourselves!

The second instance of gay homophobia is experienced every time gay people gather in groups. We have all experienced it, whether we have practiced it or been exposed to it. I am talking about the homophobia which stalks the gay psyche in the form of agism. It has always been of amazement to me that gay people are so intolerant of other gay people who come from a different generation. This goes for younger as well as older gays. Two years ago I had contact with a lesbian who was trying to get an "older brother’ gay concept off the ground, where older gays could meet younger gays. The younger men could benefit from the experience and wisdom of the older men, and the older men could benefit from the enthusiasm and zest for life of the younger men. Talk about flogging a dead horse! When I spoke to this lady and asked how the project was going, she told me that it had collapsed, because there was very little interest. Older men only seemed to want to know young men as toyboy sex objects, and young men only wanted to know old men for pecuniary gain. How sad. How sad that older men have to take on the persona and appearance of gargoyles, like Dainti Delicia, and a host of other drag queens, in order to be noticed in the gay community– otherwise they would simply be the aging fat boy in the corner of whom no one takes any notice. What is also sad is that by practising agism, the younger generation do not realise that they are promoting a self-fulfilling prophesy. Instead of figuratively embracing older gay men and reinforcing the gay ‘brotherhood’, they actively entrench a homophobic division which will discriminate against them themselves in a few years time. And we wonder why there are so many lonely older gay men in society! Once again, straights have nothing to do with this state of affairs. We are doing it all for them.

The agism concept also applies to anyone, of any age who is not ‘attractive’, by the gay definition. Even young gay men suffer at the hands of other gay men, simply because of the way they look. It is ironic that the one thing which is fleeting and which disappears quicker than the morning mist when the sun rises, viz. looks, is the criterion of gay acceptance or rejection by gay people. Shame on us for being such fickle, superficial creatures!

The third instance of gay homophobia takes to the streets every September in the guise of "Gay Pride". I will have more to say about "Gay Pride" in the coming months, but for the purposes of this discussion, it is my view that by taking to the streets looking like the demented,looney-toons circus has come to town, we force an image of gay life down straight throats, which is not only a misrepresentation of what it is all about, but with which very few people, both gay and straight, can identify and accept. After all, who wants to associate with a placard which reads: "Give us your children – those that we don’t fuck we’ll eat!"? And it is through this type of behaviour that we claim we want to be ACCEPTED by society? Puleeze! It reminds me of the Mugabe conundrum. Call the British all manner of insulting names and then ask them for money! The reality is that it simply does not work that way. Gays must realise that alienating straight society is not the way for us to get them to accept us as part of the larger society. We will always be marginalised and treated with suspicion while we indulge in this type of behaviour.

Before we whine about the rejection and homophobic attitudes of straight society, let us fight the homophobic enemy within our own ranks. Boycott the likes of Stephen Cohen and the freaks at Pride– don’t turn them into gay icons. They are doing our cause more harm than good.