When I look in the mirror, what do I see?
I see two faces making the whole of me.
One is the face I have known my life long.
Familiar, yet strange. Why does it seem wrong?
The other is newer, though I've carried it too
All through my life. It's me, but as who?
The quite softer features, the long, curly locks
A face like my mother's, but kept in a box
High up on a shelf in a place dark and dim.
What would happen if the daylight filtered in?
This other face, so graceful, yet sad,
Would letting it show be all that bad?
Expressing this part of me, forbidden so long,
Would it make me something wicked, evil, and wrong?
The longer I look, the more that I see,
Of the feminine side within the whole of me,
Is nothing of wicked, or evil, or wrong,
Just something ignored for far far too long.
Slowly, but surely, the face becomes clearer,
As to an awakening I ever draw nearer.
I feel a warm glow from within my heart's self
As I open the box up there on the shelf,
And let the dear light, heaven's radiance a-beaming
Onto my new face fall ever-long streaming.
I open my eyes on a whole different being
And pray that the world can see what I am seeing.
A loveliness, at least to my eyes, appearing.
Tender sweetness to my heart ever endearing.
I smile and sweet tears make my eyes glisten
As to the quiet voice I finally now listen.
And turn from my mirror, dread joy in my heart,
I take Adelle out and, as I depart,
On a still long journey I am only beginning,
A challenge uptaken; A challenge I'm winning!
The Door
I stand as I have so many times
Before the room with barely opened door
And imagine all the beauty and the rhymes
Waiting to be held for evermore.
And though the room beyond the door be darkened
It is sparkly as the vintage of the wine
Tis with great anticipation that I harken
To see a fuller beauty that is fine.
And when at last the light is brightly shining I see
I'm in the midst of someone's soul
And here it is within the sight and timing
That the smile upon her face shall be my goal.
For within the room I know the beauty lies
And 'tis for me to open wide the door
And silence all the thunder of her cries
And release the sparkling beauty evermore.
Kiss
I wait in nervous anticipation
Am I sacrificing more?
We both live outside the lines
Now we both sit together, apart
Slowly, gently, my hand finds hers
She shifts to me, now hip to hip
We lean closer, virgins to the touch
Feeling the warmth there beside me
I take this lady to my bed
Twelve Wide
A pretty woman
I check her out from
I used to ogle
Lately as I look
As I see her clothes
Not of games or lines
ALL DRESSED UP......
I dress myself as maids of old
Primping, preening to look so fair
Doing all this for one night out,
Smoothly shaved legs and face to match;
Laced up corset, cinched in so tight,
Soft silky blouse, with neck so low;
Things in my purse and keys in hand;
My feet move to the outside door,
My stomach churns; my hands, they shake;
I try so hard! I want so much!
My fears a-bloom; they mount and grow
Until becomes the fear so rare
I turn away the fateful door
And sit me down and stop and stare
The girls all say, "It just takes time."
A wall stands there, as strong as steel
Am I still, then, of worth to them,
They seek to sooth my stricken tears,
I sit all dressed, from head to toe;
QUESTIONS
Who am I?
What am I?
Why am I?
Answers to questions
But the answers I seek
Confronting these things
My friends help out
I've got to pull
There's no reason why,
So, buck up girlfriend
Bring yourself out
Your better than you
Second guessing my participation
in this little tete-a-tete
Do I know what's in store
For me and the one that I met?
Often jailed behind drawn blinds
Blinded to the looks we get
Each measuring our beating heart
Breaking out in a cold sweat
A simple touch and my mind whirs
Our fingers twined as a net
I chew unknowing at my lip
And see her mouth, warm and wet
First kiss, trying to convey so much
Without speaking, yet
Something releases deep inside me
And I play my dearest bet
Afterward I caress her head
And wonder at my new pet
walking down the street
A pretty woman
who I'd like to meet
her foot to her head
A blonde or brunette
Or tresses of red
her shapely formed leg
And from her I would
her phone number beg
my mind, it wanders
Away from such thoughts
Away far yonder
Sexy and so nice
And her high heel shoes
I have to think twice
Or ploys I have tried
But, do those shoes come
in a size twelve wide?
readied themselves for knights so bold.
With painted lips and fresh-washed hair.
To meet the girls and gad about.
Gartered lace hose, a glance to catch.
Creates the shape that looks just right.
Smooth slinky skirt, slit up just so;
One last check. OH! I look so grand!
but fear comes on as e'er before
My skin grows cold; my heart, it breaks.
But cannot bear the latch to touch.
With ev'ry foot closer I go.
Far far too big for me to bear
I've turned away so oft before
And start to weep in mis'ry there
"You'll get out soon." "You'll be just fine."
A gate guard mean, who makes no deal
Ladies who deign to call me friend?
And try to quell my fatal fears.
Strait-laced by fear, nowhere to go.
Where do I fit in?
Always alone
On the outside looking in.
Where did I come from?
Heart without feeling,
Beating, but numb.
How did I get this way?
Struggling to make it
Through every long day.
As weighty as these
Seem to titter
Teasingly on the breeze.
To my questions so rare
Are found inside me
Where my soul's laid bare.
About myself and I
Scares me no end
'til I think I'll die.
I know they really try
But sometimes it's too much
And all I can do is cry.
Myself together soon
And quit all this
Acting like a loon.
What, wherefore, or how
That I shouldn't
Enjoy the life I have right now.
And let your beauty show
The world is your oyster
Bask in the pearly glow.
Quit hiding within
Head up, chin out,
Face it and grin.
Will ever admit
So accept yourself now
Let life get on with it.