The Babe Rules

Bettie Page was a Babe


What is a Babe? Some may see this as a pejorative term, demeaning the women to whom it is applied, but it need not be so. Babe is completely different from the term "baby," as in, "Hey, baby, let's get it on!" That term indicates a real macho condescending attitude and the idea women are possessions. Think of the way men use the term Babe toward us. Yes, it has many sexual and sexist undertones, but in a very real way it's a title of their respect toward a woman they see as somewhat above the rest, and in some ways, unattainable.



The Babe Test

How does one become a Babe? The answer may be simpler than you think. I propose a series of apparently simple, yet highly complex, rules for being a Babe.

  1. Babes make the rules!
  2. Babes always smile no matter what the situation.
  3. Babes blush modestly when they receive a compliment as an expression of pride!
  4. Babes are always right, but they can change their minds.
  5. Babes always make eye-contact.
  6. Babes act; others follow.
  7. Babes exude confidence.
  8. Babes might wear Wal-Mart clothes, but will look like they shopped at Saks!
  9. Babes take risks.
  10. Babes take more risks.
  11. Babes always answer their email... eventually!
  12. Babes have attitude!
  13. Babes use their legs as weapons.
  14. Babes know they are drop-dead gorgeous!
  15. Babes always know what they are doing.
  16. Babes judge who you are; not what you are.
  17. Babes never cool off.
  18. Babes always have an answer for everything.
  19. Babes are unique! No two are ever the same.
  20. Babes make Scarlett O'Hara look like a wimp!
  21. Babes never overdo it.
  22. Babes can be friend, lover, and lady at the appropriate times.
  23. Babes follow a different drummer, and some very strange guitar players.
  24. Babes know how to live by the kindness of strangers.
  25. Babes never explain, apologize, or need to do either.
  26. Babes may sweat, but they look and smell great doing it.
  27. Babes take no prisoners.
  28. Babes never follow rules!


How did you do with the test? Are you a Babe? Do you want to be a Babe?

Now you have read through the rules you can see how much of a Babe you are. Count the number of rules you think apply to you now, and divide by the total number of rules to get your percentage. (The percentage will be the first two numbers to the right of the decimal place.) Find your Babe class below:

Pct.Class:Description:
Over 90%Red Garter-BeltYou are a Babe in every sense of the word, and probably stop traffic when you walk down a street. Your legs need to be registered with the authorities as lethal weapons. You can be found anywhere by following the sound of the breaking hearts.
Over 75%Black Garter-BeltYou are a Babe, and show it. Men sigh as you pass them on the street. Your smile can make the clouds disappear. People lie to their friends, pretending to know you.
Over 50%White Garter-BeltYou are a Babe, but still need a bit more training. You can bring a grown man to his knees with a look, and other women hate you.
Over 25%PantyhoseYou are getting there, and show good potential. Get back on that diet, and practice more of a wiggle in your hips. Your future is not in the stars, but in yourself!
Below 25%Bobby SocksYou have a lot of work to do. Let your hair down, and practice that smile. You can do it if you try!


Someone once told me a Babe was the proverbial "puzzle locked in an enigma wrapped in a conundrum," but that's as far from the truth as one can get. A Babe isn't as complex as all that. A Babe is just an ordinary person with a twinkle in the eye, a lightness in the spirit, and a calculating mind, bent on having fun!

The interesting thing about this list is it's never finished. Remember Rule 1 above, and send me your ideas for new rules. If I add it to the list, you get the supreme satisfaction of knowing you're a BABE!




Diane is a Babe





Lyn is a Babe





Mary is a Babe




SuperBabe




Betty Boop was a Babe



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