AOL Facts of Life

I awoke this morning to 138 pieces of email... We hold the following to be true and self-evident:

Bill Gates will not give you $1,000 for reading his mail.
Disney is not giving $5,000 to 5,000 people.
Emails that take you to a website and then you have to click on ridiculous dialogue boxes 25 times to get out of them are a pain in the ass.
AOL is never going to drop instant messages, this would be like your bank getting rid of ATM cards.
If you are the 10th fowardee of an email joke, chances are everyone you are sending it to has seen it.
No one donates money to cancer victims because you read an email, how would they know??
AOL will never cancel chat rooms, see number 4
If it sounds to good to be true...it is!!!
Never ever download ANYTHING from a person you do not know, unless you do not need your hard drive or cmos settings...it takes less time to turn your computer on and turn a garden hose on it, and the sparks and burning smell are really kewl.
If you do not have virus protection go to Keyword: VIRUS read about how virus's really work and you can get free virus protection there.
If a web site offers something at a great price, has no phone number, and only a PO Box or only online ordering, please send your money to me instead, I will at least thank you for your money, they will simply disappear.
If you must buy from one of the above types of vendors, at least use a credit card, you will have a 10% chance of getting your money back when you realize you have been ripped off, and it will be enjoyable fighting with your credit card company when they refuse to refund you when they find out the vendor is gone.
If you get mail from someone that ends with @aol.com, 99.9999% of the time it did not come from an aol member.
If the subject of an e-mail is: Sorry I missed you in chat, hey you did not answer my mail, why did you sign off, and you have never heard of the person, chances are it is a link to a porno website.

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