Gender Anarchoterrorism 101 or How to Think Like a Spivak Without Losing Your Mind

Gender Anarchoterrorism 101

or How to Think Like a Spivak Without Losing Your Mind

To defy is to live without fear and to conform, without question, is to die, a most ghastly emotional death- Mikhail Pokrovscky

Freedom is a seemingly distant concept, to those who feel oppressed, in any manner. It is a tangible reality for those who do not feel oppressed.- Mikhail Pokrovscky

Introduction

As we all have come to know, and without us being quite aware of it, gender plays an important role, upon our lives, in ways we can barely detect. This role is so insidious and subtle, that more often than not, we fail to realize, its damaging influence, upon our lives and subsequently, affecting all of those, we meet and all that we do, on our daily lives.

I have lived without gender, ever since I was a puppy, thanks to my step-mother's immense wisdom, to raise me, without such notion, yet carefully pointing out, the minute nuances of that virus I call, gender.

Therefore, I thought, it'd be a wonderful contribution of mine unto you, to help you live more fully, without it, meaning that you must surrender, your birth gender. But rather, find a way to mock it, play with it, and in a nutshell drive, those around you, extremely insane, by your refusal to play into the gender role, you were assigned by birth as you have been taught.

I would like to thank, all of those amazing amazing individuals, I have met in my life and taught me, by various methods, the rules I have etched for you. I cannot name these individuals here, because the list is too long, yet their influence shall live on through me until I die. So, I thought, I would pass these rules unto you, so those people can be then be immortal, as they rightfully should..

Basic Gender Spivak Rules to Live By If You Wish to Live a Hassle-Free Life

Dismiss entirely the belief ,that you are nothing, but the multimedia extravaganza of the gender, you were assigned to, the instant the doctor beamed, to your parents, "It's a (insert gender here)". In a nutshell, forget you were born with an assigned gender.
Sex and gender are not the same thing, never forget that. Sex is about physicality of the sexual nature. Gender is what you do, in your daily life, when you perform it. To erase that belief from the general public, you can use the following anarchoterrrorist tactics, I have used:
1. When applying for a job, cross out the word sex, when you are being asked, what gender you are and replace it with the word gender, instead.
2. When confronted by a form, that demands to know your gender or else, it won't be processed at all, check the gender, you most comfortable with, out of the two tiring choices you have.
3. Write a letter to the organization or company, requesting this ghastly information from you, telling them just how insulted, you find it, that they haven't included your particular gender option, if you have one. Suggest to them, to add a box that says, Other. Otherwise, you shall write to everyone you know, not to frequent either their site or their place of business. After all, it's about money in the end. Using the supply and demand card wisely, will get you the results, you are seeking. Not inmediately but eventually.
4. When taking an STD test, they will check out that pesky gender box for you. Simply take the pencil and erase it as often as they write it down. If you do not feel like a particular gender, do not give in, tell them firmly, that you refuse to abide, by those rigid rules. If they refuse to test you, you have 2 choices: 1) To speak to the highest in charge and inform em of your dilemma and seek a mutual agreement or 2) Tell them, you'll go elsewhere. And do so, until you find a testing site that isn't filled with Gender Gestapo agents.
5. When on line, if you have an alternative gender option. It could also be, that you haven't chosen a gender, because it isn't available or you are simply not comfortable divulging it, simply say, to those who pester you for an answer, "Sex? Right here, right now? In front , of all these people? I think not! We hardly know each other." While I'm at it, I'll let you in on something, you might not know, those individuals without profiles, descriptions or choose the gender neutral are, most often men. The way, you know they are is by, the following simple clues: their tiring habit of using CAPS, refer to women's garments as panties, their equally pesky habit of asking you, for your body measurements, at the same time when you ask for a description of themselves, they write back body measurements, only an inflatable doll could have, tho they may say, they are women. Remember that hint and call them on it. This is simply because though more women are accessing cyberpace, it is men who still long on, more often, than women.
Just for kicks, practice using gender nonspecific pronouns for yourself, as often as possible.Gently insist, that people who meet you, address you with those nonspecific gender pronouns, simply by saying to your speaker, "I'm sorry but you wish to speak to me further, I'd be grateful, if you addressed me by the spivak pronouns, instead." Then tell them what they are. Having no specific gender will open venues, you never dreamed of.
Remember to, sometimes, ask your speaker which gender e prefers to use, for emself. Never assume someone's gender, when speaking to them. Taking the risk, to ask such simple question, might just make your speaker aware, that you are well-versed, of other gender options, than the dichotomies offered. The statement should be along the lines of, "Excuse me, but I noticed that you do not behave as tho you are the gender, I seem to be looking at. If this is so, which pronoun would you like me to use instead?"
Dismiss the notion that there are only two genders to choose from: male or female.
Remember this motto: What we perceive is mostly based upon what we choose to look at.
Keep in mind, that there aren't such cut and dry traits, as 100% feminine traits and 100 % masculine traits, in every individual. Those are nothing more, than personality traits, to call them, by their gender specific names is, to allow society, to dictate to you, the manner in which, you should behave, which I believe is most oppressive to do, upon oneself.
Keep in mind that patriarchy not so greatest hits such as: heterosexuality, sexism and homophobia, plays a pertinent role upon you life, concerning how you perform your gender. To forget of just how vital, those horrendous hits have influenced your life, only serves to keep those useless traditions alive.
Be loyal to your allies and your friends, but be wary of being blindly loyal. Sometimes, our loyalty prevents us, from being fair, to someone who may have done an injustice, to someone but did not, yet everything around us, may tell us otherwise. When proving loyalty, always remember, to separate your emotions, from the situation and be objective, not subjective. Look at the entire picture and not simply the bits, you are being shown. There might be something crucial, beneath the surface and the only way,,to stumble upon them is by way of careful interrogation, and getting as many sides of the story as possible. You may lose some friends, by siding with a so-called enemy, however that enemy, if you are objective enough, might become, your friend.
Abide by this simple motto: If you can go to sleep at night, knowing that throughout the course of your day, you did not intentionally wound anyone. You shall have something called: inner peace. Guilt, I was told, is a useless emotion. It only serves as a convenient excuse for emotional inertia.
Keep yourself confident at all times. Speak with conviction and passion, but also remain humble. No matter, how painful, it might be. That ego horse, we often ride, gets tired of the load and ends up, throwing us off anyway, leaving us with the humilliation, of having pick up our teeth off the dusty ground. So, resist the temptation to ride it, though, it may seem like a good idea. it isn't . The only pride worth upkeeping is the pride of being an autonomous individual.
Keep this motto, in mind: Minds are like parachutes, they work best when fully opened.
When confronted with the threat of physical harm, the best defense is no offense. Look at your offender, in the eye, and never allow em to see or feel, your fear. Stand your ground and you'll be surprised of how quickly, your offender moves on, to an easier target. This rule applies for: homophobes, sexists and racists unarmed, of course. In short, the silence of the brave shall always defeat the scorning words of the coward.
Try to practice, saying the following statement, whenever the situation calls for it: "I feel...(insert noun here)." Instead of, "You made feel like (insert noun here)" Or even, "I (insert emotion here)" This will eradicate the habit of placing blame unjustly. Own your emotions and by virtue, others will learn, to own theirs. This might not always work, but in time, your recipient, will have no other choice, than to own them, eventually. Name the behavior you find inexcusable, but never accuse. As in, asking innocently, "Why are you acting like a puppy? What's up with that?"
Think of life as a series of priceless and short moments only. This will allow you to accomplish two things: 1) To enjoy that moment in its entirety, without a trace of regret and 2) To look back on it fondly, when no worthy moments are to be had, thus using them, as a self-esteem boost. However, be extremely wary of prolonging, an unnecessary painful moment, for yourself, longer than necessary, just because someone else cannot let go. Be realistic and pragmatic about life. Nothing lasts forever, and because of such fragile notions, you must be brutally honest with yourself. Always keeping in mind, that things happen for a reason, though, that reason will not be made clear to you, until long after the traumatic event, has gone by. This does not mean that you cannot be romantic or passionate about life It only means that you must judge for yourself, when to dream and when to be practical.
Remember to look at others as a whole not just sections of them. Avoid objectifying others, in other words.
Keep in mind that there are inpenetrable walls, that exist in every individual, some are easy to go through and others aren't worth keeping on, crashing against them, ad naseaum. This syndrome, I call the deadly impasse: What happens after you meet someone and get to know them well, your fascination ends, after you realize, that you cannot go any further, with them, either emotionally or intellectually. In other words, your new found pal, turns out to be someone, so set in their ways, they cannot seem to grown any further, and refuse to do so, for simple fear of growing out of their habitual complacency. There are 2 basic types of individuals, once you strip the concepts bare: Those who run fearlessly free and those terrified of running. It is that simple. It would be ideal, to avoid, perpetuating a relation, with those terrified of running, it only serves, to bring more frustration, upon your life. But, truthfully enough, we all have people, in our lives like that, and we love them, no matter what. But it's best , not too invest too much energy, into them. Eventually, they will wake up. When they do, I assure you, you'll be the first to know. And some never do, yet do not hold rancor towards them. As Jesus once -stressing, all the while, that I am not a religious being, in the least- said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." You'll be shocked, of how those words bring you some relief, upon your frustration, leaving you, with a benign understanding, of that particular human condition, Again, exercise good judgement here, as well. This rule does not apply for individuals who run free, solely to wound others.
Don't buy into the notion, that you have to explain or justify your actions, to everyone who demands it, of you. This applies to choices, regarding a specific lifestyle, you have chosen for yourself. No matter what that might be. So long as, you or no one else is hurt by it, in any way, you owe no one, an explanation. I mean no one. This section also, covers things that you do, which may be considered, utterly selfish on your part, which they aren't, in the least. The virtue of selfishness is a precarious road that if you walk it carefully and wisely, you may, in turn. learn from it. Privacy is a treasure best shared, with those you trust, love and respect. No one else has a right to invade it.
Try to practice a concept called: Reckless caring which is to extend yourself in some way, to a total stranger, just because, the situation called for it. This will allow that stranger to have faith, that the world, sometimes isn't as frigid, as e had been led, to believe.
Try to talk to, as many people as possible, throughout your day. Make them laugh, pay attention to them, give them a compliment if need be, regardless of gender. For example, you may be shocked, at how, a seemingly boring trip, to the grocery store can lead you, to briefly brush verbally with someone, who may alter you, in some way. In other words, avoid what I call, solitary orbit behavior which is to avoid others, just because you think people as a whole, are annoying. Some are, I will never deny it, but not all.
Last, but not least, listen more often, and speak softly enough, to be heard. Choose your words carefully, when addressing anyone. Their ideas are, just as valid as, yours and you must respected them, no matter how offensive they might be, to you. This works best, when dealing with someone whose social, religious or cultural background, might differ from yours. You might discover, throughout the course of conversation, that you may have something in common, with them. Yes, it might be terribly unsettling to find them, in someone, you might not necessarily respect , for whatever reason, however, you might also learn something invaluable, from them and they from you.

Tips for women

Being a female does not mean that you are to live your life obeying others.
Practice asserting yourself, as often as possible.
Your body is yours and yours alone. No one, has the right to tell you, how to treat it or how to use it. That includes, making conscious decisions about birth control and safe sex or whether to have a sexual encounter, regardless of sexual orientation. Allowing others, to make those decisions for you, for fear of being rejected, can have the same lethal effect, as having someone choose the gun, by which you will shoot yourself with. It is that cut and dry. By the same token, never date or get involved with anyone who's either sexist, racist or homophobic. The only manner to fight these viruses effectively is to refuse to participate, by way of silent acceptance.
Wear anything you want, whenever you want. Practice playing with clothing and explore all aspects of your personality traits through them.
Be independent and self-reliant , that means forget the belief, that you nothing without someone else, in your life. Time alone, for inner reflection is something extremely vital, for your inner well-being. And you will find an inner strength, you never thought existed, within you. As my step-mom once told me, "Neath ourselves, lies a vast land that has been lying dormant and undiscovered. To wait for someone else, to explore it, for us is a disservice, to ourselves."
Learn to look at your body through your own eyes and not through society's eyes. You might discover, much to your amazement, that those so called physical flaws, whichever they might be, have been given to you, by the different people, you have come across, in your life. Thus, internalizing them and allowing them, to rule your life, and all that you believe is wrong with your body. Ack!
Learn to please yourself, as you see fit. then, you might teach others, how to please you. What feels good, what does not and what simply does not arouse you, in the least. Regardless of, what that may be. Being born female does not mean, that you aren't entitled to please yourself. Why should that be, a strictly male privilege, I ask?
Trust your instincts. This means, listening to, your body's reactions to what you hear, see and feel, around you. Women as a culture, have been denied the privilege, to listen to themselves, and subsequently, they have put their lives, at serious risk. When you are out anywhere, get into the habit of scanning your surroundings. If the environment around you, feels uncomfortable, it probably means, you must make a quick exit. Just as much as, if you feel like running, from a certain situation, do so. Never rationalize, those intuitive signals by saying to yourself, "I'm just having a flashback. Yadda, yadda." Don't remain there, just to see what might happen. Your instincts are shouting it to you, listen to them. It may save your life or keep you healthy mentally. If you do this often enough, this will become second nature, to you.
Just because someone seems nice does not indicate they might be. On the same vein, just because, someone appears to be ruthless does not imply, they are always like that. Practice using good judgement, and again, trust your intuition. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Watch carefully how they treat you and how they treat others. This will help you make decisions as, to whether you wish, to have any kind of relationship with them.
Last but not least, remember that a crime against a woman is a crime against all women. It is your personal responsibility, to keep that in mind, whenever you witness or hear of a crime having been committed, against a woman. This is a reminder for separatists lesbians, who forget that heterosexual women are, by default, the most persecuted, of all women and more often. All the same, avoid the victim mentality. Never allow any crime against you or your body, rule your life. Choose to take action, instead of inertia, such as: calling the crime by what it is and endure the subsequent ridicule, with dignity and conviction. The offenders are banking on your silence. Never give it to them. In fact. strip them of that insidious privilege, you shall see how quickly disarmed, they will become. It may seem as tho, it is taking longer, than you can tolerate it but, in time, poetic justice, shall be served. As much as, a crime against anyone, regardless of gender is just that, a crime. Make the offenders accountable whenever possible, by the same method, calling it to their attention. Just by saying, "I saw what you did and I find it reprehensible. Don't you have a better hobby? If you don't, I suggest you find one." By a crime, I'm talking about, anything in the wide spectrum, that may have wounded someone, in any way: Physically or emotionally. If it feels, as though, a crime has been committed, in your view, it probably was. Problem is, some crimes aren't written in any law book thus, there aren't any laws, designed to prosecute them.

Tips for men

Practice being affectionate with everyone that you encounter upon your life. The best way to do this is, by getting a pet, if you are, at a loss on how to learn this. They will teach you, the following invaluable gifts: patience, affection, responsibility and unconditional love. These tools , you will need with dealing with others in your life, specially children.
Erase any macho thoughts you may have. Such as: interrupting people as they speak. Demanding attention when you are being ignored. Treating others as though, they were born to serve you. Neglecting to help out on normal household chores, whether alone or living with someone else, because you were told, those were women jobs, yadda, yadda . For further info, refer to rule 10 for women.
There is nothing wrong with crying in public. In fact, if you must weep, tell anyone who castigates you, for doing so, "I regret to inform you that this is a human emotion thus, I shall do as I feel it." And end it there, I assure you, you will not be harassed for it, any further.
It is perfectly permissible to male bond, but be aware of it, just the same. In other words, never male bond, in a sector that might cause serious repercussions, for you. After a while, you'll know with whom and where, to let loose.
The ability to feel love and demonstrate it, isn't an exclusively female privilege. Admit feeling it, as often as possible, and demonstrate it, equally as often. The rule: Actions speak louder than words, applies here.
Menstruation isn't something to fear. It's a normal bodily function for females. Believe it or not. That society has placed such ghastly myths around it, for no reasonable explanation, other than fear of the unknown, does not mean, you have to buy into it. Forget it: Menstruation will never enmasculate you, in any manner or form, by way of exposure. This itty bitty tip shall also kill the kinky thoughts surrounding it.
There isn't such a thing, as manhood as in your manhood residing solely, inside your trousers. Which leads me to point out, the saddening truth, that your penis isn't a separate entity, with a mind of its own, though you'd like to believe such, because it then absolves you, of any responsibility, this is a ghastly social faux-pax. That would be, like giving say, your hand, a name and saying, "Well, you know (name of hand) here wanted to touch you. I had nothing to do with it." Putting it in this context, doesn't it sound so ridiculous, to even bother entertaining it?
While I'm on the truth trail, I would also want to point out, that there isn't such a thing as lesbians films, for men. Those flicks were made, by men so men like you, can buy, into the delusion, that lesbians also want you which they do not. Said women, in those lesbo flicks are, either heterosexual or bisexual women, illustrating what men would like lesbians to do. Contrary to public lore, lesbians do not wear spike heels to bed and they do not have claw like nails so long, that a tiger might get envious. If you stop to seriously think about it, those flicks are most illogical. And, one more thing, along the lines of unforgivable male myths, there aren't any hemaphrodites, like those you've been told exist on those flicks. Those are actually 100% genetically born females, posing as such, so again, men like you could be fooled. A very basic knowledge of biology, ought to tell you, that such images are not only unrealistic but also logically impossible. So much for men caring about other men, no? Caution: This one of men's best kept secrets. Don't tell them a spivak let you in on it.
Practice blending gender traits within yourself. For example, if you feel like crossing your legs, do so. Among many other so called feminine traits, you have been told, you should never expose, to anyone. Don't get paranoid about it. Just do it and forget about who might think of you, as a nilly. Also avoid when angry, calling other men, by derrogatory names of the, either homophobic or sexist nature, this accomplishes nothing, it only illustrates just how sexist and homophobic you are. Believe me, you'll set yourself free. Not to mention others might like you more.
Last but, not least, if you have a desire to wear women's clothing, try be fashionable about it. Learn about color coordination. Read women's magazines and see what they so called real women are wearing. Sometimes the best outfit is the one that's more subtle. And stay away from cheesy names like: Candy, Monique, et al, for your alternate persona. Unless, of course, you are in the lucrative sex trade business.

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