THE WORLD'S BEST PICKUP LINES (AND MUCH, MUCH, MORE!)

Foreword

Tired of using the same ole lines? Need some new lines to use when going out cruising? Your sex life going nowhere? Are chycks groaning at you, no sooner that you've uttered those lines, they've heard so many times, they cut you off and finished them for you? Are your parents ready to send you to Tibet on a one way ticket so you can live out your celibate life with that bratty Lama boy and his merry band of monks? Have you caught yourself singing that top 40 song by I.M. Clueless entitled The little sperm that couldn't for no reason whatsoever? Have you been celibate for so long that you need to take a refresher course in Biology 101 every month so you can, at least,. name the parts of a woman's body while you shower?

Well fear no mo'. Here are some clever lines created solely for you. We, at Cruising Inc., truly believe we should rescue you from your impending and socially imposed celibacy. So throw away that ear dogged copy of Best Pick Up Lines by I.M. Clueless and use ours to your heart's delight.

Our faithful promise: These lines are guaranteed to leave a hand print on your cheek for, at least three months, by the scorned chyck, you used them on or your money back.

1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover boy"
12. Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
15. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?] Checking to see if
16. you were made in heaven OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.
17. Did it hurt falling from heaven?
18. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
19. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
20. Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
21. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
22. [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
23. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
24. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
25. [Cheese alert!] If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
26. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
27. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
28. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
29. So... How am I doing'?
30. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
31. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
32. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?
33. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
34. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
35. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
36. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it

This list was provided by Linda in Toronto, Canada.

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