I wrote the following article, five years ago after my best friend, at the time had been raped by another woman and the lack of support towards her plight among lesbians had been too outrageous for me, to remain silent. No lesbian publication wanted to touch this article calling it an explosive subject and rare occurrence. Even though. I had submitted my querie under only my initial and my last name. To make matters even worse, the Gay and Lesbian Task Force in my city refused to even discuss this issue with me calling me an alarmist and troublemaker.
So it was, I was left with no choice but to take matters into my own hands by xeroxing copies of my own article and leaving it in places where lesbians gathered and handing it out to any lesbian who had been raped. To me, this was another act of treason among many I have witnessed.
So because of its volatile content, I have decided to publish it here in my home page. As a service to the queer community at large.
Note: The article is extremely explosive. Read at your own risk. After you read it, you'll find out quickly enough why it was chosen to be censored. Thank you!
All my life, I have been led to believe that only men violated women. That had been to me a ghastly rite of passage for women throughout my life. I have never known a woman who, at some point, hasn't been violated in some way, by a male during the course of her life. Rape is a term too ambiguous to use for me. I 'd rather call it what they call it in Spanish: violation because that is exactly what takes places, a violation of someone's personal property which is their body.
However, after living in the dyke community for almost twenty years, I discovered much to my chagrin, that such insedious hobbies weren't exclusive to men alone. I had already known battered lesbian partners and once, I even had a gun pointed at me, by the abusive lover of a woman I was trying to rescue, from further battering by offering her a temporary place to live. And I had also witnessed these so called dykes behaving not any different than any man, I had ever known.
However, when my best friend was violated by another woman in a public place in front of witnesses who did nothing, my entire life was forever changed. My best friend was an exotic dancer who was performing at a dyke club, one night. I did not wish to go, actually but she pleaded with me and I relented. While she was performing, the dykes were howling and whistling at her. I thought I was at a regular go-go bar filled with testosterone ridden males. I couldn't tell the difference, actually. Sighing to myself that though, I hated the thought, patriarchy also lived there...
I stayed there long enough for her to perform and I decided to leave no sooner than she had gotten finished dancing. I went to say goodbye to her as she asked me to stay a bit longer but I was adamant. Later on that night, she phoned me to tell me she had been raped by another woman who jumped on her as she was performing as she frantically yelled for someone to toss her a dental dam. No one paid attention to my best friend, they weren't exactly laughing but they did not seem to register her frantic voice at all. This incident took all but 20 mins. The longest 20 mins in my best pal's life, as of late.
The worst was yet to come, her own lover acted as tho, it had been her fault and her friends had all but abandoned her, I wanted to know who this chyck was and my best friend pointed her out to me, one night. Mind you, this was extremely difficult for her to do under the circumstances. To see your perpetrator isn't something, you wish to do at any point in time. But, I felt I could do something and that something was spreading the word casually. Since the queer community at large did not wish to acknowledge the issue and the Police Department did not think these types of offenses weren't worth investigating. It was classified as an isolated incident.
Not too long after that, perhaps six months after that, I was talking to a dyke pal of mine and she was saying to me casually that a chyck I once dated briefly had recently been raped by a woman. I was shocked again. This was becoming a serious issue for me to deal with. I called the woman in question as she told me that her FTM lover was not being supportive, the Gay Task Force had been no help and the Police, thus fully aware that her perpetrator may have been a serial rapist, they had been looking for, chose not to pursue this issue.
However, this incident had a different ending of sorts. The perpetrator had been tagged as such and at a dyke bar, she was pointed out as a rapist publicly so other women would be aware, she was around.
Then a couple of years later, an ex-lover of mine had also been raped by another woman who was her boss. When I confronted said perpetrator after hearing the news, she denied it having taken place and these days, I approach her whenever I see her simply by saying, "So how's my favorite rapist doing today?" and grin at her.
Those are the facts but what are we doing to remedy the situation? Nothing at all. Why must women protect other women who sexually assault other? Has sisterhood taken a meaning, I was not aware of? Are we not a community? Or are we going to allow the heterosexual society that hates us take care of it for us?
The following are my solutions to this growing epidemic:
1. Report the incident to your local gay facility.
2. Spread the word of the incident in spite of opposition.
3. In this incident takes place in an educational facility, report it to the proper
channels.
4. Notify anyone you know the perpetrator is dating of what took place.
5. Write in block letters in every public bathroom if the bars you know the perpetrator
frequents: So and so is a rapist. Chances are... some other woman will add to your
scribble.
6. Organize Rape Awareness Workshops in your local school or queer community and bring up
the subject of woman date rape as an added not so great bonus. You might get scorned as I
have but someday, someone will be grateful to you.
7. Make certain that you do not go anywhere with a woman you just met. Let alone your
abode or hers. These days, STDs aren't the only things we have to worry about these days.
8. Trust your instincts at all times.
9. Do not consume more alcohol than you can tolerate.
10. Most important of all, treat the assault as you would with any rapist. Defend
yourself. The life you save might be your own.
It is a grim reminder to me, to think that dykes of today are slowly adopting heterosexual male values to gain access to other women. I once believed, being a dyke was about loving women for who they were. I now know it's about loving women all right.. but love of f*cking them over... Tsk tsk...
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