Deep Thoughts for You To Ponder

• Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
• Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
• Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
• If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
• And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
• If a husband stands in the middle of the forest speaking and his wife is not
• around to hear him...Is he still wrong?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide... is it considered a hostage situation?
• Is there another word for synonym?
• What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
• Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
• Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?
• Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
• Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
• Is there a word that rhymes with nostril?

Now some perplexing questions of my own:

• Why do bisexuals call themselves bi-curious? If the entire point of their sexual orientation is to have same sex relations, as well. Shouldn't they then be calling themselves homo-curious?
• If bisexuality is based upon the theory that there are only two genders then does that mean people who don't identify with either, do not exist?
• Why is transsexuality referred to as a radical move to end gender dichotomies if they, after all, choose either one in the end?
• Why do transvestites have such bad taste in clothing?
• If men did not exist would women be bored but happy?
• Why are straight men so crazy about lesbians when lesbians could care less about them?

This list was provided by Sarasaysno at AOL

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