Bearing Faithful Witness

In the present atmosphere in the Church, words are thrown about to add punch to the expression of opinions. Some words offend, either intentionally or accidentally. We Church people have two choices available: either to intensify our use of words so as to cause maximum injury to our opponents, or to focus on avoiding offence, so that we can get on with the job of bridge- building. Here are some of the words that can offend:

bigot: A bigot is a person who "obstinately holds to a belief or opinion intolerantly of others" (OED). It is not a good use of this word to label persons whose opinions differ from our own. The Church's diversity is a guarantee that someone will disagree with someone else along the way, and we must deal with that.

It sometimes is appropriate to label an attitude bigoted. For instance, a speaker at a recent conference insisted that lesbigay persons' decisions about lifestyle must be honoured, and then added, "but we know that is not God's will." That speaker was saying that, no matter how hard lesbigay people try to understand God's will, if it doesn't agree with the speaker's preconceived notion, it is to be discounted entirely. But if we see no alternative but to label that attitude bigoted, and ignore it, perhaps we, too, are being bigoted. Surely, the solution is to avoid saying "that's not God's will" and to invite discussion about the difference of opinion.

faggot, fag, queer, dyke: These, and many other words have a long history as put-downs. Lesbigays have retrieved some of them and made them part of our slang, but we feel that their use is reserved, much as white people avoid using "nigger" to describe a black person, even though some blacks use it.

homosexual, heterosexual: These are clinical terms that were devised by psychoanalysts barely a century ago. They may be useful in a clinical discussion, but many of us resent having our whole lifestyle defined by one aspect of our lives, and prefer lesbian, gay man. We tend to use straight to describe heterosexuals, though some object to that. Should we discuss that?

By the way, this use of gay has been in the language for hundreds of years, and many of us resist having it censored any longer. Many scholars agree that homosexual in 1 Timothy and elsewhere is a translation error and distorts the true meaning of scripture.

homophobe: It has become customary to use terms like this to describe persons who do not support gay lifestyles, and who search the scriptures to prove their point. The term may be appropriate in some cases; if it is objectionable, let's discuss it.

traditionalist: Some use this term to describe a political stance in the Church or in society, thus forbidding lesbigays from upholding the traditions that are important to us. If we need a term to describe a political stance, it must be less exclusive than this.

"our" church: This phrase surfaces from time to time in such remarks as "Do we want such people (or such lifestyles) in our church?" This kind of talk implies that the baptisms of lesbigays are null and void, and makes the Church into a narrow club. Hear us proclaim "Our Church, too!"

family values: This overworked phrase is used to bash lesbigays when we propose to make our families. There are dozens of patterns of family life in the Bible, many of them quite unacceptable in today's society (such as polygamy). The whole concept of the family needs discussion.

pederast: Gay men are frequently accused of being child-molesters. We are tired of this libel, and expect Christians to correct it every time it is heard.

promiscuous, bar-hopping, disease-ridden: Terms like these to describe single gays are seen as intentionally insulting, and can be done without in civilised discourse. It ignores the fact that most licensed bars cater to heterosexuals and only a few to gays or lesbians. Many gays stay out of bars, anyway, but some find them a necessary social space, a substitute for places where we do not feel welcomed - like Church

more study: Perhaps this isn't an offensive term, but many of us feel that yet another Church study of homosexuality is not called for. Some of us will grow old and die with our lives on hold waiting for a Church decision about us. Many of us feel forced to get on with vital decisions about our lives, using the conscience God gave us. We would appreciate being talked with more often, and talked about a great deal less.

Participating in a Church study like Hearing Diverse Voices, Seeking Common Ground would go a long way to helping everyone in the family of God understand their sisters and brothers, and break down the barriers of words between us.

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