A Spells-R-Us Tail
By Jack DeMule

The falling snow had made the roads impassable without a
four-wheel drive vehicle.  You'd have to be a little crazy to go
shopping on a night like tonight, thought Eric, but I'll have
the mall to myself.  Eric was a bit disappointed that so many of
the stores had shut down.  It was an eerie scene.  The Christmas
carols echoed through the empty mall, with not even a security
guard in sight.  Then he noticed the 'Spells-R-Us store.  He
wondered if the rumors of wizards, and magic, were true.

"Well, crud" he grumbled.  Now I'll have to come back when the
shopping herd is mobbing the place.  The thought of being stuck
in the throng of shoppers, that headed to the mall like spawning
salmon, almost made him feel ill.

Eric sat in the atrium for a spell.  The fountain, and lush
greenery of the unicorn topiary, were a relaxing change from the
cold, sterile, whiteness, that waited for him outside.  Well, I
can do a little window shopping before heading back,  so trip
won't be a total loss.  

"What the?"  He leaned forward and picked up the ropy object
laying near his feet.

It was covered with short, stiff, brown, hair, that's what first
attracted his eye.  It was about two feet long, tapered, and had
a tuft of longer, softer, hair at the smaller end.  At the large
end, where it was a little over an inch in diameter, there was a
large safety pin stuck through it.  Eric chuckled, somewhere
there's a game of pin the tail on the donkey, without a tail.

Must be filled with sand, Eric thought as he gave it a flick of
the wrist, heavy, but supple.

Usually the tail is made from paper, but this one is kind of
cool.  He rolled the tail up and put it in the pocket of his
coat. 

Back in his room Eric stretched out on his bed, and examined the
tail.  It looked as if it had come from a real donkey, and it
felt warm to the touch.  He pinned it to the back of his
dungarees.  Then he stood in front of a large mirror attached to
the closet door, turning first to one side, then the other, as
he checked it out.  It fits perfect, he thought, I'd make a
handsome Jack.  The urge to drop onto his hand and knees was
overpowering, it scared him a little, and he quickly removed the
tail.

His dreams were filled with strange characters, bears, tigers,
and pigs, that walked upright, and talked.  When morning arrived
Eric first checked the tail.  It wasn't a dream, it's still in
the top draw of the bureau.  The urge to try on the tail, to see
if it would effect him as it had the previous evening, was
strong.  But there were chores to be done., it would have to
wait.

After finishing his morning chores, Eric returned to his room to
try on the tail.  It felt like it was part of him after a few
minutes.  He was sure it was just his imagination when he saw it
twitch.  

Leaving the tail in place, he couldn't resist galloping down the
hall on all fours, as he went to kitchen to have some lunch. 
Soon it was time for the evening chores, but he didn't want to
take the tail off, so he slipped it down the leg of his
dungarees.

After almost an hour of admiring his tail in the mirror, Eric
finally decided to take off the tail, and go to bed.  But it was
no longer pinned to his dungarees, the pin appeared to go
through his spine.  He could feel the tail, it was part of him,
and he would no more take off and arm or leg than remove the
tail.   He knew that he should be worried, terrified possibly,
but it the tail felt perfectly normal, as if it had always been
there.  As if it had always been there, he thought as he drifted
off into another dream of talking bears, pigs, and tigers.

Eric awoke with a start.  It was morning, and he could hear
horses just outside his window.  How did they get out of the
barn, he wondered and he looked out the window.  There was
nothing there!  As he turned he saw his reflection in the
mirror.  The long furry ears of a donkey graced his head.  "Oh
my God," was all he said as his ears swiveled wildly about.  It
was almost eleven o'clock when he grew tired of examining his
new ears.  Well, it's winter, and a stocking cap will cover the
ears pretty well, nothing to worry about, he thought.  In a far
recess of his mind he knew he should be worried, but the reasons
weren't clear to him anymore so he dismissed the idea without
further thought.

"Horses can't wait all day" Eric sighed as he sat down to pull
on his shoes.  "Whoa!  Now what!"

He stared at the shiny black hooves where only hours before
there had been a pair of pink human feet.  Oh well, my pack
boots will still fit if I have to go into town.  Though when the
weather warms up I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

That evening as Eric prepared for bed, he almost pulled the pin
out of his tail when he discovered the heavy pelt that had
sprouted from his belly.  After the tail, ears and hooves, a
little hair didn't seem like anything to become panicky about. 
The dreams were vivid now, but the inhabitants seemed more like
sketches of animals than real animals.  You know, a donkey
should be afraid of a tiger, he thought.  Yet he had never felt
more at ease, it was a peaceful land that he visited in his
dreams.  He hated to wake up.

As Eric tried to sit up in his bed, for the first time he was
actually scared.  He didn't recognize the face in the mirror, it
wasn't his, it was that of a donkey.  He reached around to pull
the pin from his tail, but he couldn't quite manage to undo the
clasp using his hooves.  He rolled over and dropped onto the
floor.  Looking at himself in the mirror, he had to admit, he
did make a fine looking jack.  "Oh well," he sighed, "I guess
I'm going to be noticed now," and a pitiful half-bray,
half-sigh, escaped from his muzzle.

The room began to blur, and it was replaced by a clearing in the
woods.  A young boy approached.  "Hi, my name's Christopher,
what's yours?"  

The donkey thought for a moment, and then, looking rather glum
he replied.  "Er...Er...Eeyore."  Continuing after a heavy sigh,
"my name is Eeyore.  Thanks for noticing me."

Back at the mall, the old man in the Spells-R-Us shop sighed
too, as he closed the book of children's stories.  Maybe he was
getting soft as the centuries wore on, but then again, he was
always a sucker for a happy ending.

Eric was quite happy as a donkey, and his tail never, ever, fell
off.