Date: Wed, 21 May 1997 00:13:28 -0600 From: Cleo Subject: SRU: Goodie Gumdrops Well, I said I'd take a crack at the SRU Universe, so here's my story. I think you'll all have lots of pun with this. - Cleo 01234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Spells 'R US: Goodie Gumdrops and Sour Tarts By Cleo Kraft ----------- Robert cursed and kicked his flat tire. "Of all the rotten luck in the world, I get stranded in the middle of dullsville," he complained. "Come on Ned, help me with this tire. We're going into that little town over there and see about getting it fixed." Ned finished looking in the trunk for the hundredth time in disbelief. "I don't know, Rob, I can't figure out why you don't pack a spare on road trips like this." Ned continued to rummage through garbage in the trunk. "Come on and do something to help me," Robert said rolling the tire right at his friend. The tire bumped Neds leg and rolled off into a ditch. "There, now, see? Ya happy? Now go get it," Ned said angrily. "I should have never come with you on this road trip." An old man wearing tie-dye robes and matching pointy hat came riding by on a unicycle. He was singing "Daisy" and mumbling things about being all out of toad stools, rabbit ears, and having to ride his bike to some tropical island. "Hey, get a load of the clown," Ned pointed and laughed. "He's off his rocker." The old man seemed uninterested in granting a response to Ned's remark. Instead, the old guy continued pedaling onward along the two lane highway away from the only town in the area. Through more arguing and complaining, the two eventually made it to town while rolling their flat tire along the way. To their surprise, there wasn't even a gas station open. The only place open was a run down shop called Spells 'R Us. "Looks like they converted an old western hotel into a novelty shop or something," Robert remarked leaving the tire propped against a barrel on the sidewalk. Peering through the dusty front window panes, Ned saw something and said,"Hey, look! Kittens!" "Now what do you suppose they're doing selling pets in a run down ghost town like this for? Kind of funny if you ask me," Rob said and pushed through the swinging doors. Ned followed him inside. The place looked like an antique shop that specialized in novelty collectables. An old man suddenly stood up from behind the counter and popped on a little, white pointed cap. "Looks like the old geezer who we saw earlier, right?" Ned asked elbowing his friend. Rob did a double take when he saw the old man. "Yeah, weird," Rob said. "Hello Ned and Robert," the old man croaked. "Car problems? How may I help you today? A rental car perhaps? At Spells R Us, just leave your troubles with Gus." "Who's Gus?" Rob asked. "And how the heck did you know our names and the rest?" "I know many things, and Gus is just a lacky out back who drives the cab in this town. Pay that no mind. I have bigger and better things that will interest you rather than your meager car troubles," the old man said and brought out a box full of candies. "Sorry, I'm not hungry," said Rob while looking at a box of rocks. "I'll try one," Ned said. "Okay, now the little pink ones are Grandma Goodie Gumdrops, and the yellow ones are Sophies Sour Tarts," the old man said. "Please, just one only. I'm trying to run a business here. These are just samples." "What are you doing selling rocks for?" Rob asked rattling the little box of stones. The old man looked at his watch while Ned chewed on a sour tart. "Uh, please, help yourself," the old man said. Rob just gave the old man a stony look. "You're brothers aren't you?" Rob asked looking deep into the face of the old man. "You two are twin brothers." The old man got nervous and stammered,"N-no...ah, shoot. How'd you guess? You...y-you won't tell on me will you? I was just tending shop." Rob felt a tug on his shirt sleeve and turned to look. "Just a minute Ned," he said and looked down to see a little girl standing there amongst a pile of clothes. She pinched his arm and kicked him in the shin. "Ow! Hey, what the hell.....?" Rob asked and the little girl started running around the shop breaking things. "Aw, darn it all...my brother's gonna kill me because of this," the old man said walking out with a broom and a dustpan. "I knew those sour tarts were only going to be trouble." The little girl ran around smashing things. She still wore a now overly large, blue t-shirt that had been on her previous form - that of Ned. She took down a box full of old vinyls and threw each album at the wall. "Hey, stop that you little brat!" the old man called out. "Oh, no. Not another broken record . . ." "Ned? Is that really you? What happened to your body?" Rob asked the little girl. She ignored him and ran over to the counter and began grabbing handfuls of candy. Just then, another old man rode in the shop through the double doors. He was still riding a unicycle. "I forgot something while I was . . ." the old man said and fell off his bike, crashing into a rack of clothes. Rob lifted the old man up to his feet. "Thank you, Rob," the old man in tie-dye said and took the little girl by the shoulders. "Now down to business." "Lemme go!" the girl cried and struggled. "Tisk...tisk...tisk," the old man said and saw the candies she held in her hands. "Sorry boss," Gus said with a shrug. "But you never let me have fun with the customers anymore. I just figured since you were away, nobody would know the difference - us being twins and all." "My dear, foolish brother," the store owner said patting his brother on the back. "How many times do I have to tell you? Never, never, never! Never fake candies to strangers." "So you're the good one?" Rob asked the tie-dye man. "In a manner of speaking but don't judge your elders, young man," the old man said. "I never let Gus run shop while I'm gone. He's just a stock boy, but he's learning. Aren't you Gus?" "Yeah," Gus replied setting his broom down. "I was going to be a lumberjack but I don't sing too well . . ." "I don't get it," Rob said shrugging. "Nope, neither wood I but I saw what you mean," Gus said. "In wizard years I'm only tree." "Yes, yes, and I forgive you Gus," the shop owner said. "I'm hate having to come along and undo his little mischief but I can't have everyone running around in the wrong bodies, can I little girl?" The little girl bit the wizard on the hand and he yelled in pain and released her. She ran out of the shop with her bunch of candies. "Shorter in form but quick in spirit," Gus remarked. "Should I go after her?" "She's my friend," Rob said walking to the door. "I'll bring her back. I just hope you can change her back. I'd hate to have to explain this to her...er her girlfriend." Rob went outside and saw the girl running down the street. She was heading for the playground. "Ned...er - hey you! Come back here!" Rob called out and began to run down the sidewalk. He ran out onto the grass. The little girl climbed on the jungle gym and quickly perched up on top. She waited there and swayed her bare feet in the air while picking through her supply of candies. She found one she liked and unwrapped it. Rob arrived at the base of the monkey bars and panted for breath. "You...shouldn't run...like......that," he said trying to catch his breath. "Now come down here this instant." "No!" she yelled and crossed her arms. "Okay, then I'll come up there," said Rob in a tired voice. The girl sat up at the top on the bars. She watched as Rob slowly climbed towards her. Rob grabbed onto a rung and his hands slipped. He fell forward through the bars and landed on his back. "Stupid, little brat...," he cursed. "You spit on the bars you stupid little brat...." He looked up and watched as the little girl swung down and landed on the tan bark beside him. While he still remained on his back, trying to recover from the fall, she kicked some dirt in his face. "Ahhh.....my eyes!" Rob cried out and felt something drop down into his open mouth. He nearly choked but somehow his reflexes made him swallow whatever it was. "Wanna nother candy?" the girl asked. "What?!" he yelled. "You didn't...." "Yup." Rob began to shrink down in size. "What kind did you give me?" Rob asked. "A Sour Tart?" "Nope." "Goodie gumdrops!" Rob exclaimed in a little girls voice. ___-----___ Gus and the wizard looked out the window of their little shop and saw two little girls playing on the playground. One girl was punching and teasing the other one. "Shouldn't we change them back?" Gus asked. "No, brother, good and evil must exist if balance shall be maintained in the world. One good girl, one bad," the wizard said and picked up his unicycle. "Plus, I'm still out of toad stools and rabbit ears." Gus smiled and watched his brother ride out of the shop. "Time to wait for some new customers," Gus said taking his place behind the counter. He glanced at his box of pet rocks and laughed. ___-----___ Moral of the story: Gus work isn't bad, and candy has it youth-es (at least in the realm of Spells R Us)