Date: Fri, 06 Jun 1997 23:12:17 -0700 From: steeltar@ccnet.ccnet.com (Copernicus) (by way of Phaedrus ) Subject: SRU- Spot in the Sun It's been awhile since we had a SRU story. Allow me to do something about that. SRU- Spot in the Sun Jonah had had a really rough life. It wasn't that he was stupid, it was just that life always seemed to treat him harshly. His entire life was a litany of bad breaks and lost chances. So after a spectacularly unsuccessful job interview, he decided to pull up his stakes and travel the countryside; sort of a cross between a trip of self-discovery and a trip to avoid the bills. So he wandered. And found that he absolutely loathed wandering. All he really wanted to do was lie in the sun and relax, and doing that earned him tickets for loitering. He made his slow way west, working at odd jobs, searching the entire way for a place to put down roots and always finding the ground metaphorically barren and rocky. One winter day Jonah set out to get something to eat, having neglected to do so for several days. He stopped at the mall in the town he was currently in, figuring to do some job-hunting as well. The mall was large and classy, and Jonah felt a little embarrased as he realized that several months without changing clothes had detracted quite severly from his appearence. (Not to mention smell.) But hunger pains drove him forward, and he paid no mind to the disgusted glares and wrinkled noses his countenance caused. He finally approached the local and only fast-food place in the mall- a Big Billy Boys' House o' Tacos. But even as he walked swiftly towards relief from his stomach pains, he noticed a husky security guard strolling towards him with obvious malicious intent. The guard intercepted him just as he was about to step through the doorway. "Excuse me neighbor," said the man," but Big Billy Boys' House o' Tacos doesn't serve to just anybody. You don't fit the profile of a law-abiding citizen, so get." "C'mon mister," Jonah said desperately," I haven't eaten in three days." "All the more reason. Now stop violating my doorway and get lost, or I call security on you." Jonah marched off, muttering unkind words about the guard under his breath. Hoping to sneak in when the guard left, he snuck into a nearby store to stay out of sight. The store's name, he noticed was Spells R' Us. "What kind of name is that?" he wondered." The inside of the store was a cornucopia of the mystical, the weird, and the downright disgusting. Furry costumes warred for space with vials of colored liquids, and overseeing it all was an old man typing frantically into a laptop. Finally he stopped and peered through spectacles at Jonah, trying to place the disheveled young man who stood in his store. Finally he nodded. "Hello Mr. Jonah Thompson," the old man said complacently," I am assuming that you want to cut that security guard down to size, so I have prepared a gun that will cut him down to 5'2" as well as to a size D bra. Now there's no need to than- "Look, whoever you are," Jonah said tiredly," do you have anything to eat while I'm here? I'll pay." The old man frowned, taken aback. "Something to eat? I thought I had you pegged for a bimbo transform..." The mystical chap turned back to his laptop and studied it for several seconds. "Huh... well I guess everyone makes mistakes." He looked up and peered at Jonah intently." Tell me son, what do you really want to do?" "Look, I just want something to eat... oh what the hell. What I really want is to just lie in the sun and take it easy. Not too much to ask, huh?" "Then I may have something for you. Stay here for a second, will ya?" The old man disappeared into a back room. Soon he returned carrying a small box. "Zybreggian Lizard Eggs," he announced proudly," just eat one and you're set for life. Jonah frowned and took one of the large, spherical eggs from the box. He shrugged," I'll try anything once." Then he popped it open and slurped the contents down. "Not bad," Jonah remarked," what do I owe you?" "Oh, nothing," the old man said gleefully," just wait 10 minutes for them to take effect." Jonah shrugged and continued his watch on the hefty security guard. Absently he scratched an itch on his side, but even almost painful scratching didn't remove the itch, which began to spread across his side. He stripped off his shirt and took a look at his affected skin. It looked normal, but where the itch was his skin was leathery and thick, and as the itch spread so did the toughness. "I need to see a doctor," he thought, panicked," I must be having some kind of allergic reaction." He turned back to ask for the storekeeper's phone, but the old man had vanished. Jonah turned to run, but found the door had been replaced by smooth wall. The itch suddenly sped up, racing across Jonah's body and transforming his skin where it touched. As Jonah scratched with manical fury, the itch ran over his entire body and then sudddenly disappeared. As Jonah cautiously prodded his skin, he felt a tickle as something wafted down his back. His hair. Jonah ran his hand over his suddenly perfectly smooth in shock. And as he watched in horror, the rest of his body hair left him as well. The changes didn't stop there. His skin started to turn a light green, with brown markings in other parts, and Jonah realized in shock that he was growing scales. He blinked and felt the difference as his eyes widened and rounded. Jonah's tongue split and lengthened, around it his teeth grew wider and sharper. Jonah started to claw at the door, trying to yell for help but only producing raspy sounds of fright. Soon he realized that he was leaving wide slashes on the wall, and stared at his newly formed claws in fright. A new sensation interuppted him, as he looked around to see a tail forming from his lower back. Jonah's legs had already changed to support this, becoming slightly bow-legged to hold the extra weight. Jonah realized that he no longer had a big toe on his feet, and found that the same change applied to his hands as well. Jonah's arms bent backwards, and he realized that he could only make ineffectual pawing motions with them. A sudden tightness interrupted him, as a loose nape of skin formed between his throat and chin. Jonah's torso began to stretch as well, and he began to lose distinction between tail and torso as his tail lengthened to half his body length. Jonah's feet began to lose their balance, and he toppled to the ground, his arms twisting and changing so as to meet the ground as another pair of legs. He felt his mouth grow into a snout as his nose and ears disappeared. A ridge of spines grew from his back and Jonah watched in fright as the room appeared to grow around him, as he shrunk to a fraction of his former size. The old man reappeared from the back room talking into a phone as Jonah scattered about the room on four legs. "Mrs. Jenkins?" said the old man," I believe your son wanted an iguana for Christmas?" Several weeks later, Jonah finally accepted his situation totally. The family that had bought him treated him nicely, and they had put him in a nice cage with several females. He had finally found a place to rest in the sun.