From: <szink22446@aol.com>
 Wedding Arrangements, a Morpheus Ring ContestStory by Eric
Date: Monday, February 21, 2000 


Wedding Arrangements (SRU)
by Eric

An entry in Morpheus' Contest

As always - Thanks to that Peerless Editor, Steve Zink!

Samantha Lodge and Greg Jones were getting married. The whole town was
titillated. Soon to be unavailable were the town's most eligible
bachelor and the winner of the state's Miss Strawberry pageant, their
own Samantha Lodge.

Greg was finally tying the knot at thirty-two years of age, and was the
son of the town's richest man - the owner of the local prune and frozen
strawberry plant. 'Sam' was the beautiful twenty year old daughter
of Abner Lodge, who owned the largest of the strawberry farms.

Some said it was a match made in heaven - others, with less romantic
minds, called it a match made in Dow Jones! One person thought it a
match made in hell - 'Laura' Petrie, the maid of honor. She was the
nineteen year old daughter of Robert Petrie. She was called 'Laura' as
a nickname, because she was a dead ringer for a young Mary Tyler Moore
from the old Dick Van Dyke show.

She had always hated Greg, for he had unmercifully teased Laura when she
was young - calling her 'jaws' because her teeth were bucked and her
mouth was too large for her body. A dentist had taken care of the bucked
teeth, and time had made the rest of her body, especially the twin
globes on her otherwise tiny torso, catch up with her mouth. It didn't
help when Greg's dad had fired her dad because of reporting the elder
Jones for leaving too many pits in the prunes to the state government.
Samantha's father had then given him a job (lesser paying), and the old
resentment was still there.

* * * * *

With only three days to go before their wedding, Sam and Greg were
cuddling warmly and happily together in bed. Sam giggled joyously. Greg
was really hung! Wow! As for Greg, he said, "I'm the luckiest guy in the
world! My strawberry blond is the sexiest girl in the world!"

Sam smiled and snuggled closer. "You're very wise to say so!"

He kissed her again and she sighed happily, "I know I am the luckiest
girl in the world! Everyone says so."

"Everyone?" asked Greg with a quizzically raised eyebrow. "Even Jaws -
I mean Laura? I sure wish you would find another maid of honor!"

Sam's beautiful face frowned slightly. "I know she doesn't like you very
much - "

"Why sugarcoat it, Sam? She hates me. She's never gotten over my
teasing her when she was young - remember?"

"You were bad!" Sam said proudly. "Honestly, calling her 'Jaws!' That
was mean." But Sam and all the other girls thought it vastly funny - of
course, she pretended to sympathize with the victim - but the name had
certainly fit. "Of course, your dad firing her father didn't help
matters."

"Hey - that had nothing to do with me - it was a business decision -
besides, nobody like a snitch!"

"Greg, she's my best friend - Oh, never mind - Look, let's not argue!"
Sam giggled. "Let's save it for after we're married! Make love, not
war!"

"You could run for president on that, and get more than votes!" said
Greg, folding her into his strong embrace.

Already he was excited, Sam was proud to note. She really had him by
the balls, she thought, smugly.

* * * * *

Laura Petrie was furious. How could Samantha marry that major ass hole?
The thought of him as her friend's husband made her go into the bathroom
and actually throw up! 'If only I could save her from marrying him and
having a life of misery!' Laura thought. 'And I know he will keep me
from seeing her after they are married. I just know it!' Again, the teen
went to her father's small study, and looked at the 30-30. 'I should
blow him away, but that would make him a martyr in Sam's eyes. I would
be arrested, and spend the rest of my life in prison with some dykes!'
Laura Petrie shuddered. That was no answer!

She thought she would drive into town and maybe get something at the
local Walmart - like a gallon of cheap whiskey!

'Laura' wandered through the store - amazed - they had everything,
including some leased space for famous franchises. One for McDonalds,
Doc eye glasses - DR Atkings diet and vitamin products and - what the
hell was a 'Spells R Us'?

Curious, she went in to the tinkling of an old fashioned door charm. An
old man in a rather ratty looking bathrobe was behind the counter. "Hi,
Laura," he said.

Laura look no note - she was well known locally because of her beauty
and her friendship with Samantha, and her picture had been in the
papers, picketing the prune factory.

"Oh, hello." She looked around - the place seemed to be cluttered with
lots of old junk.

"I know it isn't the place you would expect to find in a Walmart, but
even I must move with the times," he sighed. "College students are now
dreary MBA types, and I am looking to expand my customer base in smaller
towns."

Laura paid this strange speech little heed, absorbed as she was with her
hatred of the marriage to come.

"I understand you would like to break up the coming nuptials of Samantha
and Greg?"

Laura sighed. "Is it that well know around the county?"

The old man smiled like a kindly uncle. It should have sent up alarm
bells. It didn't.

"Perhaps being a wizard, I am more perceptive than most!"

Laura laughed derisively. "A wizard. Sure - prove it - I'm from
Missouri!" Actually, she was a California girl - born and raised.

The old man rubbed bony hands briskly together. "I think I have the
solution to your problems. Of course, you will have to make a
sacrifice." He took out a box with two rings - they glistened like a
rainbow.

"You ass hole! I am not buying wedding rings for the marriage! I want
to stop it - not promote it! This would be strawberries on top of that
monster Greg's shortcake!"

"Now, now, Laura - I am trying to help you! Trust me!" George Bush
should be lucky enough to be so pervasive, and speak with more heart
rending sincerity.

Despite herself, she found herself listening, ignoring her dad's advise
to never trust anybody who said 'trust me'. "Yeah, how?"

Again the old man smiled like a kindly old uncle. "These rings, and
others like them, I have sold at a remarkably low price, and they have
given universal satisfaction," he said with far more eloquence than
truth. He smiled inside, thinking of Sidney and Casey, Buffy and Crash
Colton, and especially Dewanna and Claire. (See Naughty but Nice and
Finishing School.) His smile broadened as he remembered how much
sweetness and light his early pair had brought to all those involved in
the Weird Wednesday sagas of Susan and Kevin.

"You still haven't told me how they - "

He cut her off and whispered in her ear.

"You're kidding!"

"Try them and see - if they don't work, come back and I will cheerfully
refund double your money!"

"How much?!" If they would only work - she would save Sam and revenge
herself on that Major Ass Hole Greg at the same time!

"$217.16," he said.

'Odd,' Laura thought, it was the exact amount to finish maximizing her
Discover Card!

Ker-ching! The kindly old man rang up the transaction and the teen,
torn between fear and hope, rushed home. She thought the situation over
thoroughly, and the next night she stopped by to see her friend,
Samantha.

"Laura! I am so glad you came! What do you think of your matron of
honor gown?!"

"Its beautiful!" she gushed. "And your wedding gown is fit for the
Princess you are!"

That got her a grateful hug from Sam.

"I only wish my best friend and my best guy would get along. I would
hate to see my wedding spoiled."

Laura smiled kindly (a child's copy of the Wizard's, but not bad). "Sam,
I have been thinking about it, and I will do my best to like Greg - for
your sake. I know my dislike is irrational, and I am afraid it might
even drive me insane!"

Sam looked worried; an insane maid-of-honor might spoil her wedding.

"Why don't you send Greg over to my house tonight. I promise not to
bite, and we will talk things over."

Sam embraced her friend warmly. "That's great! Want me to come?"

"NO! I mean, I think Greg and I need to settle this between us. You
would just - err - stir the pot!"

Sam's slim fingers dialed Greg's number. The idea went over like a lead
balloon, but after a lot of cooing from his bride to be, he reluctantly
agreed.

Laura went home to her humble apartment. She could afford no better
because she worked as a make-up artist for the local mortician - her
father could not afford college for her - thanks to those rotten
Jones'!

Everyone that saw Laura during her trip back to the apartment noticed
her big shit eating grin, and wondered about the cause. She hadn't
smiled since Sam's engagement. Even her boyfriend, a local stable hand,
was worried about her sudden change.

That evening, a cautious and worried Greg approached her house. He had
made a little list, which he once again reviewed. One, don't eat or
drink anything, it might be drugged or poisoned; two, don't let her
show you her father's rifle; three, don't turn your back to her; four,
don't go into the kitchen where she has all her knives. That should do
it. Then Greg smiled at his foolishness - he was a well-built 6'4" of
solid muscle - what could a slim but stacked 5'5' girl do to him?

He was stunned when she answered the door! Laura was smiling and
pleasant. Who was this clumsy impostor?

"Look, we both love Sam and want her to be happy, right?"

"Right," he replied cautiously.

"I went to see a shrink, and he made me realize my objections to you are
irrational and largely based on my jealousy and fear that you will take
Laura away from me. Typical teenage angst. If you promise that you will
let me see her after you are married - "

"Of course," he said, thinking - the sooner this coot is out of our
lives the better. "Then you are not mad any more about me teasing
you and calling you 'Jaws'?"

Laura forced herself to smile. "Hey, that was a long time ago! I was
five and you were 17. It was just a boyish joke." She still remembered
how cruel other kids were to her then. It had ruined her childhood.
Occasionally some would still her call her by that hated slur, and she
would want to kill them - and Greg.

"How about the feud because my father fired your father?"

Again she smiled another forced smile. "Hey, that was your father - just
because he is a low life pond scum who cheats everybody doesn't mean
that you do!"

"Hey!" protested Greg.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend!" The beautiful dark haired girl walked
gracefully over to a drawer.

Greg couldn't help but admire her slim but curvy body, and midnight
hair. It was a shame she was such a bitch. He might have introduced her
to some of his rich friends. Well, because of her chip-on-the-shoulder
attitude, her steady boyfriend shoveled shit and groomed horses at
Greg's father's stables.

Laura brought over a box, and was thinking, 'This had better work, or I
am going to ram a broom handle up a certain alleged wizard's ass!'

Greg caught his breath. The rings she held out were beautiful.

"These are friendship rings, lets put them on together and try to be
friends."

He couldn't believe it. She smiled, and Greg had to admit she was
charming and beautiful when she did so.

"I'll go first!" She slid on a ring.

Greg thought - what the hell - how can a ring hurt me, and slid on the
other. For a moment, there was a dizzying sensation, of light and dark.
Then he found himself - LOOKING AT HIMSELF! A self grinning in triumph.
Greg looked down, and his vision was blocked by two huge mounds. He was
in Laura's body! He tried to scream - to bring himself out of his
nightmare! But all he could do was gasp.

"What's wrong, JAW'S?" asked the Greg across from him.

Greg started weeping. "What wrong? What's wrong? You know what's wrong!
Please give me back my body. I am getting married in two days."

"Wrong again, JAWS! I am getting married in two days - but don't worry,
you will make a lovely maid of honor. All the men will lust after your
body - you lucky girl - looking to get an easy lay after the emotional
wear and tear on an unmarried girl after her friend's wedding!"

"I'll tell...I'll tell Sam!"

"She won't believe you! I have already told her I feel like I am going
insane - she will just make one call, and you will be dressed in
unfashionable loony bin white."

Greg opened his mouth to scream for help, but an iron hand of the huge
brute across from him stifled his cries.

"I was prepared for this," said the false Greg. 'He' took out some tape
and taped over Greg's new mouth. Yuck!! The glue tasted terrible. Then
he tied up the apparent girl. Finally, he removed both rainbow rings.
The new Greg help up a paper to the new Laura.

"See this, Jaws? It is YOUR handwritten suicide note, saying you
can't go on with your best friend marrying Greg Jones. I can drug you
and take you into the kitchen and turn on the gas - everyone will say,
"Poor Laura Petrie - the marriage of her friend drove her to this!" I
will cry most sincerely at your funeral. Just think about that until I
return in the morning. Right now, I am going to see MY fiancee - she is
expecting me to tell her how my meeting with her best friend went. Also,
from what I know, she's also expecting me in her bed. I don't want to
keep a lady waiting. Ah, you're crying - well that's what I did most of
my life - it's your turn now to be a watering pot! Don't go away! We
will talk in the morning - Laura!"

The new Greg laughed and turned on his heels - leaving a weeping girl
bound and gagged on the couch. To add to her discomfort, the old Greg
who was now Laura had to go to the bathroom!

The fiend! He - she thought - how inconsiderate!

* * * * *

Sam looked anxiously at Greg as he entered.

"How did it go?"

"No good, lover! Not good at all - she was very depressed. I felt sorry
for the poor girl. I hope she will snap out of it!"

Sam sighed, "Poor Laura!"

Not any more, thought the new Greg, not any more. 'He' picked up the
lovely strawberry blond and carried her up to her bed.

She giggled, "Stop, oh, stop!" egging him on.

It was great being a man, thought the new Greg. No surrender, no feeling
of helplessness. 'And I certainly am well hung!' 'he' thought proudly.

* * * * *

The new Laura Petrie awoke - the sun was streaming in the windows. Damn
it, she had to piss again. She was already wet from last night! She was
trapped in a strange female body, while the real Laura was making out
with Sam! She felt so weak and helpless! This feeling was reinforced
when she saw the huge bulk of Greg coming back into the room. The man
was as big as a mountain, thought the bound prisoner helplessly. The
new nineteen year old girl felt so immature, and the new Greg looked so
adult and commanding.

"Have a good night, little Miss Petrie? I sure did! Wow, it's great
being a guy with Sam as my fiancee! Aw, I made you cry again! So sorry!"
said 'Greg' hypocritically. "Let me play you a tape I made of our love
making last night. I know you will love it!"

The buxom bound woman cried even more as she heard the sounds of sex
and Sam's screams of delight. Later, Sam said, "Wow! You were a lot
better than ever - you Stallion you!"

The girl cried all the more. 'Sam liked him better than me!' she
thought.

"I am not a murderer," said Greg. "Not unless you force me to be. Now,
here's the deal." He ripped the tape from her wide mouth, and she
yelped.

"No more noise!" he said sternly.

"Sorry!" said the bound girl submissively as she lowered her eyes.

"If you promise to keep your mouth shut, and act as though you really
are Laura Petrie, I will let you go!"

Helplessly, the new Laura Petrie nodded, then said, "Will you also let
me go to the bathroom?"

She winced at his booming laugh. What brute!

"Sure," he said with offensive masculine superiority. He untied the
ropes.

The new Laura sprinted for the bathroom, rubbing circulation back into
her arms and legs. Somehow, she knew where it was. She started crying
again, realizing she would have to sit down and that she would have to
take off pantyhose and stuff to pee. She almost made it before the piss
came spraying out.

She really felt grimy. 'Laura' stuck her head around the door and
timidly asked the large man, "Is it okay if I take a shower? I feel
absolutely ugly and dirty!"

He laughed, "Sure, help yourself, Laura!"

"Thank you!" she said meekly, beaten down. What could she do? She felt
so helpless! The new Laura wondered in amazement at the body she saw
while taking off her soiled clothes. They were absolutely ruined, she
thought, and cried some more. No one would believe her! And if she
tried to tell, that monster outside would kill her! She felt so
submissive! But she was dirty and needed a bath bad.

Boy, did the shower feel GOOD! Sensuously, she soaped herself! She
couldn't remember taking a shower half as enjoyable before. When she
was finished, the new Laura wrapped a robe about herself and came out
fearfully. What would happen now? A small hope was in her large breast.
If only she could get a hold of the rings!

"Make me some breakfast - scrambled eggs, toast and bacon! You'd better
just eat Special K, as I know you want to keep your figure to trap a
man."

She started crying again. What humiliation.

"By the way, if you are thinking about the rings - well, I disposed of
them - they're out of reach to both of us."

Laura started crying again. Her last hope was gone!

Over breakfast, with Greg wolfing down his eggs and Laura watering her
Special K with her tears, they talked. Laura was to get dressed and
tell Sam that she had resigned herself to the wedding, and that she
knew what a wonderful guy Greg was.

"UNDERSTAND?" threatened Greg.

Terrified, the slim girl nodded. He was such a brute. How could her
friend Sam marry him?

Then Laura saw the clothes laid out on the sofa. "You can't expect me
to dress like this?" said Laura wailing, looking at a miniskirt, tight
midriff baring blouse, and high heeled, sexy boots, all of which Greg
had set out while she was showering.

"Put them on!" said Greg, threatening.

The human water pot sniffled and did what she was told. Her clothes
were so uncomfortable! And god, was her face a mess! She couldn't go
outside like this!

"Is it okay if I put on makeup?" she asked softly, and looked up at him
fearfully.

He patted her shoulder kindly but patronizingly. "Of course, Laura!"

Gratefully, she went into her bedroom and put on her face, and was
surprised at how easily she did so. Laura felt much better for it.

* * * * *

Seeing her former fiancee was torture, and she cried some more. Greg
just looked smug and satisfied.

Her friend Sam embraced Laura, and cried with her.

"Don't cry so, Laura! We will always be friends. Consider Greg's and my
home your home, right, Darling?" she said to her husband to be.

"Of course!" he said, with a strange smile. "But we shouldn't keep you
from your work at the mortuary."

Laura was horrified. She would have to put makeup on dead people - how
gross! In her four inch heels, she tripped out to her rusty Honda Civic.
She looked at Greg's Porsche, and sighed.

Mr. Graves was waiting for her. "Thanks for showing up!" he said with a
snarl.

She hurriedly apologized. God, was her job disgusting. Manipulating
dead flesh made her own flesh creep. 'I will have to find some guy and
get married, I can't stand this job!' she thought. Then realizing what
she had just thought started the weeping again. Looking at her, one
would wonder how such a small, teenage girl could have so many tears.

Somehow, Laura got through the day. Another ordeal awaited her that
night, the final rehearsal and dinner.

She started crying again in the church! Sam was marrying someone else,
and there was nothing she could do about it - even if she risked death
to tell - no one would believe her. Her former mother and father
ignored her like she had measles, and her former best buddy Carlton
kept touching her butt and breasts. What a pig! She drank a little too
much and when her car didn't start, allowed Carlton to drive her home -
maybe he could help somehow.

Entering her small apartment, Carlton grabbed Laura and rained kisses
upon her face. She struggled to no avail; now he was so much stronger
than her! Besides, she was so frightened and lonely. Her new body
betrayed her, and she started kissing him back. Before she knew it,
they were in the sack. Then the pig came before she was ready, and then
fell asleep. Just like a man!

Come the next morning, which was Saturday, they had better sex and she
made him breakfast. She tried unsuccessfully not to cry. 'It was
supposed to be my wedding day!' she thought, but her body and life had
been stolen!

"Will I see you again?" Laura asked timidly.

"Sure!" he grunted with his mouth full of sausages. "You're pretty and
you sure now what pleases a man in bed! Best lay I ever had."

She felt very pleased. He thought she was pretty and sexy!

Carlton drove Laura back to Sam's house. It was agony seeing Sam so
happy about marrying the false Greg! Sam chattered away excitedly as
she helped Laura on with a lovely maid-of-honor gown. Laura stared at
her reflection in the mirror was impressed. 'God! I am beautiful - maybe
I can lure Carlton into marrying me? He's loaded, and would be a good
provider.' She sighed looking at Sam - what a beautiful white wedding
gown! 'And instead of marrying me,(!) she is marrying an evil impostor
in my former body - and doesn't even know it or would believe it if I
told her.'

The wedding seemed to take forever - she watched Greg waiting for his
bride, and the major ass hole had the effrontery to wink triumphantly
at her.  The church organ struck up 'Here comes the bride' and she
watched Sam float down the aisle. Sam smiled radiantly at the false
Greg!

Laura found herself crying again, and when the ceremony was over and
Greg kissed the bride, her heart broke.

The wedding reception was sheer agony. Everyone was happy but her. She
could tell everyone looked down on her because she did makeup for dead
people. Life was so unfair! Greg was going on a Hawaiian Honeymoon with
Sam, and she would be back to putting makeup on corpses! She let
Carlton take her home again, as she felt so lost and lonely.


Epilog

Samantha and Greg Jones had a happy marriage. Sam was pleasantly
surprised at how much her husband could enter into her feelings and
could anticipate her wants. He was so sympathetic when she had their
cute babies! She just wished he got along better with poor Laura - her
friend had such an unlucky life!

Greg Jones demonstrated his maturity - after all, he was the able heir,
and soon ran the Prune and Strawberry company for his father. He soon
got over his initial resentment at Mr. Jones senior, and could
appreciate his new dad's point of view - after all, they were in
business to make money, and old Mr. Petrie's whistle blowing had cut
into their profits.

When Laura found herself pregnant, Carlton dumped her. He did offer to
pay for her abortion, but she couldn't kill her baby - so he gave her
$2,000 and told her that if she went to court, he had buddies who would
swear she was a prostitute! A weeping Laura (she was now nicknamed
'the watering pot') felt so helpless and abandoned! Fortunately, or
unfortunately, her former boyfriend Fred, the stable boy for the Jones',
still wanted to marry her!

Laura begged Sam to help her and influence her husband Greg and get her
a better job. So Greg gave the now twenty something beauty a job
inventorying pits, and being the company receptionist. She had to wear
very revealing clothes that made her feel like a piece of meat! Still,
it was better than making up dead people! Laura wished she didn't cry
so much, and that she was mature like Greg! Of course, she occasionally
was invited to their mansion, and Greg was gracious to her, but she
felt so out of place - she was just a shade above white trash, and she
knew it. But Laura was a good mother to her six kids; she just wished
her husband didn't drink quite as much or smell so much like horse shit!

A certain Wizard smiled. He so liked (or so he often said) to spread
sweetness and light. Trust him!

The End

Please send any comments you have about this story to Eric, at
otten3@fuse.net