As i type this it is Sunday August 5th 2001.

The first twenty years of my life was spent in a small rural town in Taranaki New Zealand.

My christian upbringing set the background for my behaviour and my early years were influenced by the presence of my greatgrandmother and grandmother along with my mother.

Although i was not acedemically minded, I built my first computer at age fifteen, it was just a glorified typewriter.

Around that time Mr Sinclair produced the Z80 from then onwards I was hooked on programming. Soon the house was full of little winking lights and motors, and the doors were all monitored in my room, what a great time I had discovering electronics. Soon it will be my Fourtieth birthday and i find i have pursued the silicon chip in favour of people.

At twenty one I moved to Wellington, and discovered my sexuality, this led to an explosion of promiscuity which resulted in me catching HIV in 1981.

The first ten years I was in a phase of denial but when I contracted Tubercolosis I was forced to review my life, surprisingly I survived, and came out of the hospital weighing 52kilos.

This stunningphoto is one of the few of me past my thirties, i have an idea that this is shocking for you, maybe that was my intention.  This was taken around Feb of nintey seven.

Now living with a title called AIDS I aquired Pneumonia and once again imagined this was the end, however it was not to be.

So here I am years later struggling along unable to do physical work and having difficulty moving around or staying awake. Remembering is rather difficult so working is impractical now.

I care very dearly for the friends and family that have supported me, thankyou does'nt seem powerful enough to express my gratitude. Just knowing you are there is keeping me going.

It was early 2001 I decided to stop taking my medication, My quality of living has dropped sharply and I find every day a fresh reminder of what I can not longer do.

I am not afraid, of dying, but I do  fear the loss of me, I grieve for me, rather selfish, but all part of dying I think. Not having done this sort of thing before, the whole shebang is rather tedious. Sorry to sound flippant, but what can you do?