Random Thoughts
Random Thoughts
For the Guys
Club Etiquette (or Lack Thereof)
I have a couple of pet peeves about the men who frequent the TG clubs in Los Angeles. First of all, I find it very unnerving when guys stare at me and my friends. I'm not talking about looking from a distance. I'm talking about guys lining up against the walls of a room no bigger than most suburban American living rooms, eyes firmly fixed on the girls dancing in the center of the room. We are not objects of your fantasies. We are real people who deserve the common courtesies you give your family and friends.And then there's the groping and grabbing. I realize that some girls give "it" away (or sell it as the case may be) but my friends and I aren't like that. Guys, please keep your hands to yourself. Just because some of the girls at the clubs like the groping doesn't mean we all do. And don't be surprised if the girl that let you touch her before feels very differently about it months later. Girls do change sometimes. Treat us with respect, get to know us and realize no two girls are alike.
More on Club Etiquette
At a TG club, I witnessed a man approach a tgirl and while standing less than a foot in front of her, he stared at her body, scanning his eyes up and down several times. He walked away a few feet, turned back and repeated his close up gawking. Then he fondled her and kissed her. Only then did they introduce themselves to each other. How would you have reacted if you saw this? Would you have been appalled or aroused? My reaction was disgust. This man displayed absolutely no class. Would he do the same to an ordinary woman in a straight club? His actions were so crass that I doubt he could. So why isn't a tgirl worthy of the same amount of decency? As for the tgirl, I wondered was she so hard up for attention that she found such crude behavior acceptable? Tgirls deserve and should demand more respect.For the "Girls"
Appropriate Dress
I certainly understand the desire of crossdressers to wear young fashions. It's been said that the femme side of crossdressers starts off as a teenager. So go ahead and wear the short skirt and lacy top but at least consider wearing young fashions appropriate for your body. A middle age beer belly in low rise jeans and a bare midriff top is not a pretty sight.Gender Issues
Going Too Far
I was warned. I didn't listen. A few years ago, I received an email from another crossdresser. This person had decided to purge because things were starting to get out of hand. I'm afraid I've gone beyond that. My femme side is on the verge of being out of control and it's too late for me to reverse it. Many crossdressers feel that crossdressing adds to their life. Believe me, there is a point where you lose more than you gain.Transsexuality and Me
Some say I should be a full-time woman while others believe that I already am. I heard it often enough that I almost began to believe it. I started to worry about which way my life was heading. Fortunately, I had friends to turn to. A very close email friend told me to stop thinking about the future, just enjoy today and if it happens, it happens. I also had a talk with two of my TS friends. I listened very carefully to them about what it means to be a TS. They didn't say anything I haven't heard before but I guess it sinks in deeper when you hear it from a friend rather than a talk show. I can't say I'm happy about my male life, but nor can I say that I'm unhappy being male like my TS friends are. I still don't know which way I'm heading but if it happens, it happens.Motivations
Based on what I've seen on the 'net and my own experiences, I think there are four motivations for transgenderism. I started with number 1, moved on to number 2 and am currently driven mostly by number 3. Most of my heterosexual CD friends seem to be predominantly number 2 with varying degrees of number 3 mixed in also.- Clothes. The focus is on the clothes but not necessarily to appear as a woman. This includes but is not limited to fetish/sexual crossdressers.
- Image. The goal is to create the total appearance of a woman. Makeup use and the desire to pass is becomes important. Sexual arousal while dressed diminishes.
- Feelings. To experience the feelings and emotions of a woman while interacting with other people is the objective.
- Living. The desire to live as a woman full-time is of utmost importance.
Really Random Stuff
Stolen Pics
I've been told that an adult website that posted some of my pictures and those of many other sisters without obtaining our permission. At least one girl has decided to shut down her website when the webmaster did not honor her request to remove her pictures. I think it's shameful that someone would choose to exploit us for their own personal monetary gain and in the end, it does nothing but hurt the entire TG community.More Stolen Pics
Someone is using my picture in chat rooms and claiming that's what they look like. I knew it would it happen someday and I know there's not much I can do about it. I've been in chat rooms and have seen a number of t-girls using obviously fake pictures. Sure, they get a lot of attention but guys, don't you realize the person you're trying to score with looks nothing like the picture?Labels
We all say that we hate labels yet our society seems unable to cope with individuality without having to categorize everyone. Wouldn't life be wonderful if we were recognized for our uniqueness rather being pigeonholed with a label.Favorite Television Quote
"How do you think it makes me feel to realize at 30 that I'm much better looking as a girl?" (Dave Foley's character, in drag, on News Radio, NBC). Sums up my life perfectly.