Violet Trefusis 1894-1972

"She withdrew"

Shortly before her death Violet wrote the following lines

"My heart was more disgraceful, more alone

And more courageous than the world has known.

O passer-by my heart was like your own."

(Taken from "Mrs. Keppel & her Daughter" by Diana Souhami)

Violet was a beautiful, creative, passionate woman. The love of her life was a literary English aristocrat called Lady Vita Sackville-West. Their relationship began as childhood friends, but by 1918 had become a passionate, tempestuous, all consuming love affair, a love affair that scandalised London society, horrified their families, and ultimately consumed Violet. It was in many ways a classic butch/femme relationship. Vita dressed as a man and wooed her glamorous Violet in London, Paris, and other parts of Europe. Both women were married, Violet reluctantly agreeing to marry Denis Trefusis at her mothers insistence, and while in the midst of her affair with Vita.

But it was Vita who could not forgo the security that her open relationship with Harold Nicholson permitted her, and so in 1921 ended the relationship, leaving Violet heart broken, bereft and in a loveless marriage.

Why do I adore Violet so? Because she was beautiful, passionate, creative. She was never ashamed of herself or who she loved. She deplored hypocrisy, adored art. She fought for her place in the world, without compromise. And I feel so very very sad that she was abandoned by the woman she loved. And she was unabashedly immutably femme.

If you are interested in discovering more about Violet then read the following books

"Mrs. Keppel & her Daughter" by Diana Souhami ISBN0 00 638714 4

"Violet to Vita" The Letters of Violet Trefusis to Vita Sackville-West" edited by Mitchell A. Leaska & John Philips ISBN 0 7493 0320 4