| August 18, 1998
Morning Grrls!! I'd like to start this message off by saying "thank you" to all those fabulous souls that WAITED FOR US!!! Yeesh, you're a few minutes late and all of a sudden you know who your real friends are! *grin* "Innuendo Boy" was in fine form last night as he jaunted back early to fix dinner for the rest of us. Dressed in a fabulous pair of khaki green combat shorts with a cheeky and colorful, yet understated polo, Barry was quite the "Dapper Dan" that we have all come to expect from this brazen baby boomer of the 'burbs. Last night started as any other, with rollerblading down along the mighty Ottawa river, following the same route which Champlain and all those couer-de-bois after him helping to blaze the trail into the heartland of this continent and our home. Fortunately they didn't have the crowds to deal with on the bike-paths! *grin* This was a new route for most of us as we made our way down to Andy Hayden (sp?) Park which skirts the Ottawa river and a few man made lakes. What a fabulous venue for next years Pride! … "Hello SUBURBIA!!! We're Here, We're Queer, and We're Buying Real Estate!" *grin* I must confess I don't have too many details of the group from the actually blading portion of the evening as I and three of my comrades were unceremoniously forgotten at the doorsteps of Prince Charles because we were a little late. But I digress, I will not harp on the fact that we would have waited for any one of you if the situation were reversed. I don't want to remind anyone about the time that I went out of my way to accommodate you, or the time that I saved Timmy when he fell down the well, but hey, life goes on right guys? *grin* Upon our return we started catching up with a few of the grrls and had a more social evening on the return route. Barring a few locals smoking pot way too close to the path the return jaunt was almost as uneventful as the first route. The real action began when we got back to the manor. Imagine our surprise when we returned to find gift-wrapped bottled water waiting for us at the lovely estate of Mr. Pratt. Complimented with gorgeous embossed gift-tags, these are definite keep-sakes and definitely something that everyone will cherish (unless you were really thirsty! *grin*). For those of you who didn't make it you'll be sure to have a look at the Professor's handiwork as I have kept mine and it will be on display next week. Eat your heart out Nick and Martha, this girl is Ottawa's answer to entertaining! Well, with all the kudos and kisses that Barry was getting let's just say that someone couldn't handle being upstaged and so began dismantling certain pieces of foliage in the house. Shame on you MC Archie!! While I don't think any of us could argue that Archie had a fabulous fête on Charlotte, to stoop to the level of trying to sabotage someone's home, I mean honestly! Rumour has it that MC was drunk with power and this is attributed to his close ties with Sheila Copps as of late. Actually, it was said after the whole "plant incident" that apparently Sheila left the dog in the car only after Archie's insistence that they were only going to be a "minute" and that everything would be "fine". Archie was later seen on his cell phone … hmmmm .. I wonder who she was calling?! Speculation? I think not sweeties, you do the math! *grin* Well with the foliage follies behind us we thought that the excitement for the evening was over .. but that was because Todd and Stephie were so quite and we thought they weren't there. Well it was only a matter of time before we had to deal with the "Disappearing Donuts" scandal and the debacle that ensued. Now I'd like everyone to know that yours truly was the first to believe Todd when he said he had no idea where the donuts were, but the grin on Stephie's face gave it all away. The hunt was on and we all joined forces to make sure that the Princesses would lose this fight. Stephie, sitting in her newly labelled throne, smiled confidently at her subjects as she knew that the hiding place was more clever than the pea she found under her mattress so many years ago. What she didn't count on was the skills of Sean T. whose previous job was to sniff out wrong-doers and find the hidden loot (thank you Lindquist Avey, I knew you'd come in handy someday! *grin*) Well with Stephie and Todd gone upstairs to plan their fall wardrobes, this was the perfect opportunity to put my skills to the test, and I must say that it wasn't much of a test hiding the donuts beneath Charlton's smelly old fleece vest in the corner. Puhlease sweeties, you've got to do better than that! The donuts were placed on a plate with the empty tray placed cunningly in the center of the floor so as to get the best reaction from the Princesses upon their return. All I can say is I've only seen Todd's jaw drop that far once before, but that's another story that Paul can share with you at a later date! *grin* I think we all saw a tear form in the American Princesses eye at the thought of having to go through the night without one of his beloved powdered donuts! Now, let's talk about Princess Stephie and her fashion violations last night. First things first: White socks. Okay, okay, I know what you're saying. There's no problem wearing white socks for a sporting activity, I'll agree with that, but wearing white socks with a pair of Tevas is a strict no-no and is punishable by law! As if this wasn't bad enough, the white socks had contrasting red stripes at the top. Three words sweeties, OH MY GAWD!!!! Stephie just went from bad to worse as she made her way down off her thrown to sit on a lowly ottoman, only to discover that now she was creating another fashion crises with plaid on plaid!! Only Tommy Hilfiger can get away with that fashion faux pas sweeties, and quite frankly I think we could all agree that for the most part even he can't get away with it, but the mainstream media lets him. A big welcome to Jasmin "Who the Hell Are These Guys" Simard last night for his first rollerblading event with us. We apologize profusely and hope that he'll come out again next week to 29 First Avenue where your hosts will be none other than Dan "Chicken Hawk" Charlton, Derek "I'm Bold to My Mother" Vollrath, Phil "I talk too much" and Simon "I Speak French on My Answering Machine" Cridland. Simon mentioned to me that he's a bit concerned about how he can top Barry's, but I just want to assure him that we won't judge him at all (to his face!) *grin*. Here's hoping that you all had as good a time as I did last night. Passing judgement on the less fortunate in the city and talking about the people that didn't show up (i.e. the First Ladies [Hilary quite frankly is excused because of the terrible ordeal that Billy put her through on Monday evening] Darryl, Derek, Larry, John, Al, Chris, etc., etc., etc.) can be so tiring when one has to do it alone. With regards to next week, please confirm your attendance with Dan, Derek, Phil, Simon or myself via e-mail or telephone. Also, I believe the Sunday rollerblade is on this week, same as usual, Second Cup at the corner of Elgin & Gladstone for 10 a.m. and then Pretoria Bridge at 10:30 a.m. Hope you can all make it, if not we'll see you on Tuesday. Cyber-kisses sweeties!
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