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He
was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in
Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was
one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive
attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking
without permission was not acceptable.
What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time
I had to correct him for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting
me, Sister!"I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before
long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often,
and then I made a novice teacher's mistake.
I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going
to tape your mouth shut!"
It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking
again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark,
but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to
act on it. I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I
walked to my desk, very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll
of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore
off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth.
I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see
how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it!! I started laughing. The
class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged
my shoulders.
His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years
flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more
handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully
to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much
in ninth grade as he had in third.
One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new
concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated
with themselves and edgy with one another.I had to stop this crankiness
before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other
students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each
name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about
each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the
class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the
room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank
you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend."
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet
of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire
class was smiling.
"Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything
to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much."
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they
discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.
The exercise had accomplished its purpose.
The students were happy with themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned
from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home,
Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip the weather, my experiences
in general. There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways
glance and simply says, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat
as he usually did before something important.
"The Eklunds called last night," he began.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years.
I wonder how Mark is."
Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said.
"The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could
attend."
To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told
me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked
so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, "Mark
I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk
to me."
The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The
Battle Hymn of the republic." Why did it have to rain on the day
of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said
the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved
Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.
I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers
who acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.
After
the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse
for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet
out of his pocket.
"They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might
recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn
pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded
many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which
I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about
him.
"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As
you can see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather
around us.
Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list.
It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her
wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group.
"I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting
an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists."
That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all
his friends who would never see him again.
Sister Helen P. Mrosla.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life
will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please,
tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important.
Tell them, before it is too late.
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