Learning to fly with broken wings

when desolation penetrates me to the core
indifference is a commodity I’ve savored before
apathy the uncaring friend I often implore
a romance of the final act with no encore

there comes a time to reap what we sow
but for all my failures I’ve nothing to show
when my existence turns empty and hollow
I ponder which trail of broken glass to follow

the way of enlightenment I choose to reject
for I’ve tasted love’s subtle neglect
selfish isolation is no longer an object
loneliness the pilgrimage I always select

blue the color of the days I’ve sinned
all for want of dreams pre-destined
my failures leave me more determined
for every broken promise I’ll rescind

for each mistake that I’ve made
every person I’ve betrayed
every hurtful game I’ve played
will eventually pay me back in spades

my life interpreted through the filters of suspicion
is there no end to this malignant condition
when every meaningless act of contrition
comes across as a calculating derision

I had a dream that hit me like a brick wall
I took a downward plummet off my pedestal
I wished that I could reclaim it all
but my wings were broken from the fall

I froze time for an introspective pause
suddenly becoming aware of all my flaws
I’d been blindly stumbling through life without a cause
not paying attention to nature’s laws

I realized through all the lies and deceit
it was me who was suffering most from the heat
I was the one being kicked around getting beat
scorned and tossed aside like a piece of tainted meat

I felt deperately hopeless to live my life the same
and sadly I only had myself to blame
it was time to stop playing this stupid game
take a chance and put my hand to the flame

I had to learn how to fly with broken wings
toss aside all doubts and misgivings
reflect on life and see the beauty in things
realize not everyone is dealt Aces and Kings

my desire to fly seemed an unlikely plight
but with my newfound outlook I leapt and took flight
at this breathtaking moment everything seemed right
the sky was purest blue and not a cloud in sight

this was the day of my mental transformation
all my failures had become my salvation
words cannot describe the incredible elation
when I once again saw life through the eyes of veneration