Breasts...

In sixth grade our school put on the play "Cinderella", my friend Gary was the prince and he had bigger breasts than the girl playing Cinderella. Being gay, I don't think about breasts too much. If I wanted someone with breasts, I'd date a fat person or a transsexual.

Sight...

I am thankful for my vison. I recently got glasses, and it is amazing how many things I can see now. Something that has always bothered me: why do they have braille on the drive thru ATM machines? Who uses it? I hope it's not the driver of the car.

Fear...

One thing that scares me is the thought of being burned alive. I also have this phobia of bees, or any other kind of stinging insect. Wasps terrify me. I also have a fear of snakes. There is something creepy about the way they slither. I think one of my greatest fears would be to outlive all my friends, but it sure would suck to be the first to one to go.

Religion...

While I do believe in spiritualism, I am opposed to any kind of organized religion. I think that spirituality is what keeps people going through the hard times. The hope that things will get better, or the notion that there is a "master plan". But there is a big difference between being spiritual and being religious. I don't need to go to a place of worship to feel bad about myself, I can do that on my own. Have you ever met someone who was so jubilant that you just assumed they were gay, but it turned out that they were just a really happy Christian? Ned Flanders on The Simpsons comes to mind.

Sex...

Love it, especially with someone I truly care about.

Masturbation...

Fun. Sometimes better than sex. Sometimes two or three times a day (just kidding!).

Friendship...

The few close friends I have, I would do anything for. They are all very important to me. There are friendships that defy words; a comfort in a silent car. Not having to say a word to one another, yet knowing what the other is thinking. In friendships there is no such thing as an awkward silence, just a peaceful bliss.

Love...

Love is something that we all strive for. It provides fodder for our very existence. People are always looking for that perfect partner, sometimes not realizing that what they have in front of them is as close to perfection as they will ever get. Sometimes we love and it is not reciprocated, and sometimes we are loved by those who we have no desire for. When two people have the same intense, passionate feelings of love and belonging towards one another, then that is a truly magical thing.

Adolescence...

I wasn't a very happy teenager. Well, Duh!, who was?

Being gay...

I love being gay. I have no regrets about my sexuality, and I am proud of who I am. I feel sorry for those who can't appreciate the uniqueness of their lifestyle, and are made to feel ashamed by those who do not understand. No matter what anyone says, there is nothing wrong with being gay. In fact, I think it is the coolest thing in the world.

Hell...

My life between the ages of 11 and 15. Thanks to my stepfather mostly. Bastard.

Hate...

Hate is a very bad thing. It can consume a person. I grew up hating my stepfather, but I've finally gotten over that. I will never understand why people like that are placed on this Earth, but I don't let it bother me any more. Life is too short to dwell on the negative. Bastard.

Death...

Death is something no one likes to talk about even though it is an inevitable thing. We all die. What happens after we die? No one knows. Why worry about something you can't change.

Neurosis...

I am probably the most anally retentive person you could ever meet. When I'm in a bad mood, I tend to be rather snappish, so watch out. Everyone has problems, no one is perfect. It's how we deal with our problems that makes up our character.

Clowns... I've always hated clowns. There is just something fake and menacing about their smiles. The smile is painted on, but underneath the makeup there could be a psychotic killer. John Wayne Gacy used to dress up as "Pogo the Clown", and entertain children. Over thirty murdered bodies were found in a crawlspace under his house. One of his more memorable quotes was, "A clown can get away with murder".

Alone...

I think everybody feels alone sometimes. There is a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I can be amidst a large group of people and still feel lonely. Or I can be alone at home and loneliness won't even cross my mind.

Two pictures...

That's all I have left of my friend Duane. Two pictures, a few seconds of video, and enough memories to last a lifetime.

Regret...

I regret hurting the people I care about. I also regret not saying goodbye to certain people.

Electronic...

This was the CD I played over and over again the summer of 91. It was also the year I figured out my sexuality. Everything that happened to me that year I associate with this CD.

Television in the 70's...

Growing up in the 70's was heaven for me. I loved watching tv. I remember all the Krofft superstar shows like Land of the Lost, Sigmund the Seamonster, Elektra Woman and Dyna girl. I also watched such classics as Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman, Dukes of Hazzard, Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Charlie's Angels, and The Incredible Hulk. I remember playing Wonder Woman with my sister and we would always fight over who got to be Wonder Woman. I usually won, with her having to be the villian. I would use her jumprope as the magic lasso and tie her up with it.

Coming out...

When I told my friends, some were surprised, but most weren't. Telling my family was easy because I think they always assumed I was gay. It was really frustrating actually, because I wanted it to be a big shock to everyone, and it wasn't at all.

Planet of the Apes...

Planet of the Apes rule! I grew up watching those movies and I loved every one of them, except for the really lame tv series that lasted less than a season. I am very proud of my collection of Ape Dolls.

Tibet...

A place I'd like to visit someday, but not any time soon. I think the situation there is tragic. At the risk of sounding like the rhetoric of a bleeding heart, I have to say that human rights are precious and should not be violated.

Doorways...

I have a hard time making eye contact with people. I'm not shy or anything, and I do look someone in the eye when I'm talking to them, but not for very long. My eyes always have to shift away briefly and then return. I find the whole process very intrusive and almost voyeuristic. I can tell a lot looking into someone's eyes, and sometimes it's more information than I want to know. Or maybe I'm just afraid that someone looking into my eyes will see the real me. Eyes are the doorways to the soul, and sometimes I'd prefer to have my door locked.

Jealousy...

Jealousy comes from fear and insecurity. There is no place for it in my relationships. If you love someone, you should trust them. If you can't trust them, then how could you love them?

Politics...

Since this page has become sort of a sounding board for things on my mind I'd like to state my views on certain topics. I am in no way trying to push my views on others, but these are just things that I feel are important. I used to consider myself a strong democrat, but have recently felt more inclined to lean towards the side of the republican party. Maybe I've been watching Bill O'Reilly too much, but I feel that the majority of issues that I care about are addressed more by the republicans. I know I'm not the only gay republican out there. I am opposed to the death penalty for a number of reasons. I am also pro-choice when it comes to abortions. I am not a vegetarian although I like animals. As cute as some of them are, I enjoy eating and wearing different parts of them. I love my black leather jacket and there is nothing better than eating a rare steak!

My Planet of the Apes dolls.