my memory sometimes plays tricks on me,
it seems like it was only yesterday,
that night in the bar,
when my eyes caught his
that smile, so subtle and warm
welcoming me, enticing me
our first words to one another
spoken with trepidation
fumbling, grasping for anything
anything at all to let him know
just how taken in I was by his presence,
and abundant beauty,
the conversation, his playful candor
I asked if he had a cigarette,
he said he didn’t smoke
good, I thought, neither did I
realizing how stupid I sounded
with my callow attempt at a pick up line
lucky for me, he didn’t seem to mind
we talked for hours until the club closed
I got his phone number
and we said goodnight

I left the club that night feeling acute elation
hoping the feelings were mutual

the next evening we made a date to see a movie
it wasn’t vey good, but enough to prompt a discussion afterwards
we went to an all night coffee shop
talking about our lives and all the things we had in common
it was the middle of the night by the time we left
and I had to work the next morning

he took me home and came up to my place briefly
we said goodnight and he leaned over to hug me
in that brief instance there was so many things I wanted to say
so many things I wanted to do in this maudlin state

it is often said that when a person is about to die
their life flashes before them
I don’t think this is much different than with a first kiss
because so many vivid images went through my mind
love, sex, fear, exuberance, enchantment,
this was the thing I was missing in my life,
the thing I was looking for, searching for endlessly
a kiss with greatness, lusciousness, with divinity, with love,
in that impetuous breathtaking moment
somehow I managed to find enough courage in myself
to draw my mouth closer to his sanguine lips
and if I needed my fears quelled,
it wasn’t for very long,
sooner than I had dared dream, his mouth was upon mine
his velvety lips in a delicate negotiation
his tongue probing deep into the aperture of my mouth
entwined in snakelike eloquence with my own tongue
like some sought after validity that I anxiously welcomed
his hand slowly caressing my face
my cheek rubbing against his
the passion of the moment
his tongue, the bee
the saliva, nectar
the intensity of his eyes gazing endlessly into my own
sent an electric surge flowing through my body
the soft nibble on my lower lip,
holding his hand so delicately yet unwavering,
not wanting to let loose my grip holding him so tautly,
the long unwavering pause before he pulled away,

it seemed like a lifetime in those scarce seconds
we kissed briefly one last time and then said goodbye

the next day he got on a plane and flew to Hawaii, his home.