The trail of clothes strewn about the floor
betray the escapades of the night before
My boyfriend and I had just broken up
you were at the club and would not give up
I was feeling lost and lonely
you were looking for cheap sex only

amidst the stench of alcohol and sweat
I knew you were someone I could easily get
somehow I needed your affection
to make me feel worthy of his rejection
your selfish desperation
fed on my inner desolation

I want to erase what we’ve done
realizing you are not the one
I only have myself to blame
for now I feel nothing but shame

as I look at you sleeping in unaware bliss
I wonder what I did to deserve all this
did I love him too much?
is that why he cringed from my touch?

I wish I could numb the pain in my heart
right now it feels like I’m falling apart
sometimes the only way to heal the hurt
is to get down and wallow in the dirt
like dancing with danger
a meaningless tryst with a stranger

sex with you was just a release
a sad attempt to put my mind at ease
I hope you know this was just a game
and I don’t even want to know your name
I thought you could alleviate the pain
caused by this tragic refrain
thinking about last night with such disdain
even when you’re gone my regret will remain

I’ve nothing but pornographic guilt
from the body fluids we’ve spilt
unfortunately nothing can placate my desperation
not even these acts of hollow degradation

I just want an end to the ache
from this so-called mistake