Blank Canvas
I was watching the late Bob Ross on our local PBS station painting one of his attractive landscapes. During the 30 minute “infomercial” which is disguised as a tutorial for teaching his method of “wet-on-wet” painting, Bob filled his blank canvas with a happy little mountain with little trees by a happy little lake in a happy little valley. Yes Bob can be quite sickening if you let him get to you. But Bob has a style that is uniquely his own, but I have often seen painting by his students and those that have bought his books and you can tell right away that they are a “Bob Ross.”So on this Saturday morning, as I veg'ed in front of the television watching Bob splatter paint thinner all over the studio, I was struck by the similarities that we in the TG community have with Bob and his students. Now this is a big leap but then you have to have a weird mind like mine to make the connection. So here goes.
Bob almost always begins his paintings with a blank canvas covered with “liquid white.” From there he mixes his paints on his palette and paints away. Within 30 minutes he has created a picture in the style of … well ... Bob Ross. Now after watching this seemingly easy technique, we rush out to our nearest arts and craft store and purchase an overly priced authentic Bob Ross paint set. We set up our art studio and lay out all our paints, brushes and knives in preparation to create our very own masterpiece of artwork. We get the canvas all wet and slick ready to put down our very first brush strokes on the way to a new career and then we stop. What are we going to paint? We suddenly realize that we lack imagination so we decide to copy one of Bob’s pictures from the book and thus we begin. When we finish we have a painting that is Bob Ross and not our own. I am sure that Bob would say that he is providing the basics techniques and skills that you need to go out and develop your own style. Our “own style;” now that is where we come in.
As transgendered individual we too begin our journey as a blank canvas. We are in a sense creating a new person. I do not think any of us ever stop to think about just what kind of person do I want to create. I mean I could be a Marilyn Monroe (sorry I do not have the body) or an Audrey Hepburn (nope, shoulders too wide) or maybe Cyndi Lauper (yeah I can do grunge with bad hair and extra makeup), but I never said that I was going to pattern myself after any one person. So we naturally copy other people; our mothers, sisters, friends, or someone we have seen. And when we are done, we are just that – a copy. Unfortunately, we continue to spend way too much time and resources on creating copies and not just being ourselves.
Hopefully over time, we begin to refine our taste and techniques to reflect the individuals that we are. I have spent way too much money on clothes and makeup that just is not me. We discover what works for us. We know our body types (fat) and what clothes (tents) and colors (black) accent our positive and hides our negatives. Plus we are redefining our personalities to go more hand-in-hand with our true selves. So that one day people can look at us the say that we are unique individuals with a style of our own and not pretending to be someone else. We are both the artist and the canvas of our own creation.
Bob Ross talks about how there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents. Well it is obvious that Bob has never stuck the mascara brush in his eye before. And I am trying very hard to make sure that does not become my style.
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