Girls, Watch Your Manners
This little subject has been eating at me for weeks now and I feel that I just need to bite the bullet and get it out on the table. I had the pleasure of having dining some time back with some good friends. These girls pass without question. They are attractive articulate and intelligent women that any of us would be proud to be seen with. However, there is one area of their deportment that could stand a little improvement. Okay a lot of improvement. These girls handle themselves well in all settings but one. The table. I was appalled at what went on at dinner. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach well this is one area of their transition that these girls did not give up. I am not trying to be a prude; but from the looks the wait staff gave our table during the course of the evening, you could see that they knew something was not quite right. Nothing gave these girls away until they sat down and then you would have thought you were back on the farm and someone had just yelled SUEWEEEE!!!It was an embarrassing evening but quite comical in hindsight. You would have thought you were an extra in an old Ma and Pa Kettle movie when Ma calls, "Come and get it!" There was so much tableware flashing about that I am surprised that no one lost a finger during the foray. There was a jewelry check after the meal just to make sure that no rings or acrylic nails were lost in the mayhem. All I could do was sit back out of the way and protect my dinner from the flying forks and knives.
One embarrassment was that these girls all ordered large meals. I wonder if they have ever done the girl thing and just had a fruit salad for lunch or a lite dinner. No these girls were hungry. It is a testament to their passing ability when the waiter suggested to one that the meal she was ordering was too much for her to handle but to her credit, she cleaned her plate so well that it did not even look used. I personally try to order ladylike. I am in a constant struggle with my weight because of the hormones, and I try to eat sensibility. I eat more chicken and fish than pork or beef. I often make a meal on soup and a salad; all in an effort to maintain my girlish figure. Yet these girls who constantly complain about their weight were eating like sumo wrestlers in training camp.
I personally enjoy eating out with friends. It is a great way for women to bond and share life experiences, and food is just a wonderful medium over which to do it. I was hoping for a relaxing leisurely meal with good conversation. Before the meal started, it was over for some. I do not believe any of us would have stolen their meals but the way they gobbled it down, you would have thought there was a contest going on. Now women do not normally eat fast, and when the waiter came by to check our drinks he was surprised that some were ready for the desert menu. I used to work outside and to drive to a place to get a meal and eat it and be back on the job in an hour required that I eat fast. So I had to learn to break that habit. One of the most effective ways was taught to me by my Mom. She takes a bite and puts her fork down between each bite. This alone slows you down and if you can learn to chew slower then all the better.
One of the benefits of eating slow is that it gives the stomach time to tell the brain that it is full. The stomach is the dumbest organ we have and it takes 20 minutes for it to communicate with the brain that it is full. So by the time the brain gets word, you have been eating for 20 minutes beyond the point of being satisfied. So by slowing down, you eat less, weigh less, and do not have the feeling that you ate a small village in the process.
Oh and the one thing that bothered me the most was that these girls never closed there mouths when they ate. I enjoyed seeing how the food was prepared on their plate, but I did not enjoy seeing it after it went into their mouths. And for some it was vital that they maintain a constant dialog as they were shoveling it in. That alone kept my food intact down during the meal. Elbows on the table, reaching across others and just the basics of social etiquette were never wasted on these ladies.
After the meal as we walked out, I could see the waiter point to us as he and a waitress look on that the destruction left behind at the table. I am sure that he had never seen women eat like that in his entire life. At least we gave him a good tip for his troubles. And he did bring me a go box since I did not get a chance to finish or enjoy what I ordered. In the food Olympics, I will try to remain a light weight.
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