Perspective
The other night over dinner Tiffany and I were discussing how for me everything has changed and yet nothing has changed. What lead to this somewhat confusing statement is how for some reason lately I have been reacting to the world totally differently (lets put it in real terms here - I have been crying for what seams like no reason at all) to common things that I have experiences countless times before.Well Tiffany correctly diagnosed the change as that of my perspective had changed. She likened it to looking out one window of a house and then moving to a new window. The scene outside is the same but the angle at which we see it has shifted. She is very insightful.
For all my life until recently, I have been looking at the world as if I were a man. Having denied that there was a girl in my body, I forced myself to act and react as a male in an attempt to hide, to suppress and deny my true self. So with my acceptance of Beverly and she being my true dominate personality, I am now seeing the world truly for the first time. And even though the experiences, be they a song on the radio or a wild flower, are familiar to the body they are brand new to my psyche as a woman and therefore have been very emotional. I see things that had no or little meaning as a man but as a woman they are full of meanings, shapes, colors, sounds, and spirit. I realize now just how empty my life was before I accepted myself, and it saddens me to think that the male population in general is also devoid of the ability to see all of the beauty before them.
Yes I have stopped looking at the world out of my small bathroom window with the frosted glass and have begun looking at it out of a large bay picture window. Nothing has changed, the world is still as it was, but I have changed. I now see things truly for the first time correctly; I see things as a woman views the world. By accepting myself, my perspective has changed.
Get your own Free Home Page