Later that month after a bought of depression and a lot of crying, I wrote a letter to Stephanie the co-chair of the 1998 event to tell her how much SCC changed my life and to make a suggestion that a Big Sister/Big Brother program be adopted. I explained to her that SCC was my second time out ever and how hard it was to get the courage to open the door to come down stairs and register. I also express how unhappy I was that first day not knowing anyone there and how alone I felt, basically being ignored by everyone. Well that did change later that evening but that first impression is still fresh in my mind. The depression that followed SCC was one where I realized just how happy I could be but I saw that happiness as never being obtainable. Well I got over it. Anyway, evidently Stephanie liked was suggestion and gave the project to BeverlyAnn. And she unknowingly recruited me as her first Big Sister. So I guess no good turn goes unpunished LOL.
As the event neared I did attend a planning session in July where I also volunteered to stuff envelopes and help with the Prom decorations, not glamorous jobs but ones that still needed to be done and something I could do. I was getting very excited because unlike last year where I knew only Renée, this year I knew maybe a hundred people attending. There were my close friends, girls from the Pink Room, people from support groups that I attend, people on the SCC committees, people who I met last year, and people that I met on-line. I was not going to be alone this year and being able to share something like SCC with people you love is a moving experience.
Tuesday Sept. 29: We had a five girl car pool to go down to SCC. It was also the first time I had driven from home to Atlanta dressed, in fact I did not pack any boy clothes at all. As we picked up our fellow traveler; Toni, Celia, Amy and Tiffany, on the way the festive nature of the day was growing. When we arrived in Atlanta, hotel staff was very courteous to us and made us feel welcome. Well we freshened up and the five of us headed off to stuff envelopes (they did not realize that the free ride to Atlanta had a cost in it to help too - LOL). I had also recruited Jessica and Nora to help also. Well it was a long process that ran past mid-night but everyone had a fun time with a lot of girl talk and just getting re-acquainted.
Wednesday Sept. 30: Slept in late because I knew that I would not be getting any sleep after today. I got down to registration at noon and hung out around there in case a call for a big sister came in. It was great seeing and meeting a lot of new girls there. I made it a point to walk up and speak to anyone who had the lost look on their face. That is something that I do not do well and it was a good experience for me doing that. That evening a large group of us went to Agatha's dinner theatre. I was a riot. I did not have to write a song this year but the show was fun and the food was great. I think that the regular people (non-SCC) who were there came away a little bit more enlightened than when they first got there and were wondering if this was a weird dream. There was one gg there who's look on her face was that of total disbelief and by the end of the evening she was laughing and enjoying herself thoroughly. Later on that evening six of us went out to a club and had a great time there dancing.
Thursday Oct. 1: Well the conference go on it way today. I was disturbed early by Alexis with her "maid service" which I told her to come back later. Some friends have no since of time. I had a makeup/makeover lesson with Fay from Mary Kay. She is such a sweet lady and I did learn a lot of new techniques and did buy some of her facial products to help with the electrolysis that is making my face look like a pizza. The hard part was leaving the room without any makeup on, talk about feeling naked. That evening we went out to the Hard Rock Cafe and had a great meal and later on we hit a couple of clubs.
Friday Oct. 2: Attended more seminars today. Sat in on Dr. Ousterhout's presentation on facial plastic surgery and late had a private consultation which I thought I only needed a nose job and a trachea shave. WRONG!! I needed a lot more to the tune of $26,500 or 2 SRS plus worth. That evening we had the talent show which really showed off the talent of 22 attendees. We are a talented bunch. It also let us show off some of our classier dresses which if you are like me, you have but when do we ever get the chance to wear them. And once again it was club time afterwards.
Saturday Oct. 3: Today I sat in on Dr. Meltzer's presentation on SRS and then sat in on the one for hormonal replacement. That afternoon I assisted with the prom decorations. I now know how to decorate a table with roses, ivy, and baby's breath (it is always good to have a skill in today's job market). The prom was a grand gala event. There had been an auction earlier for 25 escorts from the Atlanta Gay Men's Choir as a fund raiser. The Choir performed again this year to over 450 people in attendance. The gowns were lovely and everyone looked so great. It was a story book night. I later was recruit to help with the PA system and as others were dancing I was help coil cables and move speakers. Still I did get in a few dances even though I was dressed in jeans and blouse.
Sunday Oct. 4: The morning came too early. It was packing day and I also wanted to attend the planning session. After 5 days of bed at 3 to 4 am and rising at 7 am, it takes its toil. As I sat there listening to how everything when and how great the newcomers reception was on Wednesday that BeverlyAnn headed; I had this wonderful feeling of belonging and being a part of something very special. This year's event was the largest gathering on TG people in modern history. It also gave me the confidence to feel that I could actually do something and take some responsibility and maybe actually make it in this world as a woman. Well next year I will be even more involved and I hope that others will also take the time to do things to help others. Driving back while my companions napped I was reflecting on the six days en femme. The feeling I got seeing some of new girls really blossoming in those 4 days feels my heart with pride. Because I know that they are forever changed (like I was) and will now strive to find happiness where in the past they have only dreamed about it. I do not know if I was responsible for any of that change but in a small way I touched everyone’s life their. Maybe I can make a difference, maybe I can be a leader, maybe I can transition and survive, and maybe I can achieve my dreams. Maybe I can...
On the way back we did have a little bit of car trouble, the tail pipe fell off. Well we pulled off the road and Toni kept her cool and was able to tie the remaining tailpipe back up with a coat hanger (they are not just for clothes anymore). I mean Toni really came to the rescue for here we were 3 girls stranded and all the thoughts suddenly running through my head. Well we made it to my house and swapped cars and Celia and Toni drove on. As I was sitting there telling mom all about the trip, it dawned on my that she was talking to Beverly and not even being phased by how I looked. She too has come a long way. I guess we both have grown a lot this year. I wonder what is in store for next year?
See you next year at SCC 1999!!!
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