A large family of 600 descended on Atlanta for a reunion of sorts called the ninth annual Southern Comfort Conference. And I use the word family because that is what SCC this year seamed to me to be. I do not think the word community appropriately reflects all the caring, support, and love that SCC attendees give and receive and experience. I had the pleasure of working on SCC this year and like all good family reunions we had way too much potato salad and not enough fried chicken. The family theme was echoed by the speakers at the Thursday luncheon.
Certainly SCC continued with its tradition of fine speakers, informative seminars, vendors, entertainment and just plain fun; but I think for a lot of us, we go to SCC to see our friends, make new friends, to learn and to grow. Yes, I said grow and I do not mean in the waistline, but rather we grow in our own unique ways, both emotionally and spiritually. I got to see a lot of growing this year among the people I came into contact with, and I did some growing too. Some of us experienced growing pains as we transcend one level of self awareness to another. I got to see a dear friend who's last year's SCC was her first time out, and since then she has come out to friends and family, goes out weekly to do everything from going shopping, to restaurants, to cultural events. She has become a real inspiration to others. And this year we had over 50 first time attendees and for many it too was their first time out. You do not know how good it feels to see those first smiles when they realize that they have found a family and friends.
I saw a girl who found out that she passed too well. She went out with some gg friends to some of the local bars in Atlanta that were not part of the SCC schedule. She is a very young looking woman and so she got carded and the doormen would not let her in because she could not use her "boyfriend's" id to get in. Well it was her male ID; and try as she could, she could not convince them that she was the guy in the picture (I wish I had that problem). So I think this week she is getting a new driver's license that shows a much more feminine guy. I think I need to do the same thing. I saw a girl get her confidence and pose. I saw her uncertainty melt away in the course of a few hours and start holding her head high and smile as she never did before. There was one girl who found her direction as to how she would proceed with transitioning, and there was another whose whole world opened up to her when the means of going full-time because a genuine possibility. There was a girl who I had been telling for quite sometime now that she was pretty and passed very well. She never believed me but when she was hit on by two men in two separate locations, she realized that she was. She was not prepared for that and the realization for her was very emotional. There was an individual also there who was struggling with unrequited love and the heartache that goes with it. I wish someone could tell me how to console someone with a broken heart.
I think that everyone who attends SCC, comes away changed in some way. But we all grew some on Saturday night at the formal when it was announced that Barbara Richards had pasted away that afternoon. Her wife Peigie was attending the conference with her. She lamented, "Why now? He was so looking forward to tonight". Peigie attended the evening event as a great show of courage on her part because Barbara would have wanted her to. The show by the Atlanta Gay Men's Chorus was dedicated to Barbara. And in the silence as the announcement was read, when all the happiness and merriment was put aside, I think we all grew as a reminder that we should not put off our happiness because we may never live to see it.
Growing is good but it can sometimes hurt. I did not go to SCC this year to grow but I did and so did a lot of other people. Not everyone's growth is as beautiful as a someone finding confidence, a self image, a direction, hope, or a new best friend. Sometimes it is growth from a broken heart, from exchanging a dream for reality, and from loosing a friend. Sometimes it hurts to grow but maybe that is how we know that we have.
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