A Tribute to Tiffany
There are those people who come into our lives and grace us with their presence for a time; and in doing so, have a dramatic impact on us forever. This tribute is one of those rare and special people who has changed me more than anyone I have ever known. Well change is probably the wrong word because she did not change me; she was the catalyst for my change. She was the one who told me to get my butt in gear and do something about my situation (well she said it in a much nicer and kinder fashion but the meaning was the same). This girl took a frightened youngster by the hand and lead me out of my closet into a world on beauty and love and smiles and hope. Into a world where dream do come true, where a wish on a falling star does count, where hope is abounds, and friendship is cherished. She taught me how to see color where there had been none, she taught me how to listen to old song for the first time, she taught me how to feel the love in a held hand and to smell the beauty in the mountain air. She taught me to think and to enjoy the moment, she showed me kindness and pointed out prejudice too, she taught me how to smile even in sorrow, and she showed me how much family does mean to us. She taught me how to listen to my heart and not so much to my head. She taught me to be me.
This wonderful girl is Tiffany. And she has been everything to me for the past 17 months. She has been my friend, my mentor, my confidant, my critic, my cheerleader, my teacher, my supporter, my should to cry on, my comic, my audience, my sounding board, my companion, my best friend and my sister. When I first met Tiffany on line, I knew no one, had no friends and was living vicariously though the lives of others. I surfed into a HP that had no pictures but the moving bio I had read. I mean it was warm, caring, funny, honest and sincere; and this girl lived in North Carolina. So I wrote her to tell her that it was a great HP, how impressed I was with it, and I too was in N.C. I did not expect a reply because none of the other e-mails I had sent out ever got one (the Net was very impersonal then). Well Tiffany did write back this wonder long letter which started a daily correspondence between us. She would say something that brought out repressed memories in me and I to her. Well we clicked. We discovered that we both had so much in common and so many of the same thoughts, same background and same feelings. It got to the point when we were chatting on line that we would say the same thing at the same time. We began to read each other's minds and knew just by the way the other phrased a sentence that something was wrong. We went from friends to sisters to later on a bond that maybe only twin sisters can share. It was spooky and beautiful. I often joked that we were twin sisters given up for adoption at birth to different mothers.
Well Tiffany was the first T-girl I met (knowing) in person and she was just as nice and open and caring and sweet as she was online. She later was with me when I did virtually anything new. She has always been there for me. She has been that crutch that I have leaned on. When I was nervous, she would take my hand and give it a little squeeze to let me know that I would be fine and that she was there. She has made me what I am today and has given me the strength to achieve what I have. I have also been privileged to watch Tiffany blossom into womanhood during this time. She was already going out and living androgynously when we first met, but over the year Tiffany push the envelope of androgyny to where only earring were the difference for total femme. Her confidence built to where she would travel and would her daily errands en femme. And in doing so she has shown we a path that I too may travel someday.
So why am I writing all of this. Well my sister is moving away. Tiffany has a new job in a new city where she will be able to work and live as Tiffany. She is making her dream a reality. I am so very happy for her. The distance between us it growing from 2 hours to 10 or more hours. I will no long have her to lean on. I am going to have to stand on my own to high heeled feet and do things on my own. That is a little frightening to me in that I have been so dependent on her. I know that I will be stronger woman because of this and more self reliant. I know that we will still chat and e-mail and talk of the phone, and that we will always be sisters (no distance can ever break that bond), but I do feel sad that she is leaving. There is a emptiness in side me that does hurt and those beautiful friendly mountains will be little colder and lonelier than before. So I guess the lesson that I am learning and passing on to you is that when those special people do come into our lives; embrace them and love them and nurture them for one day they will be gone. I am blessed for the time that Tiffany and I had together, and I know that there will never be another like her in my life. I owe her more than I can ever repay for the gift of womanhood that she has shared with me. I hope that you all can find your own Tiffany and be blessed too.
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