Pagan groups...
How many Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!
How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
> (any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare
the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism
afterwords...
How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
> You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.
How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
> Not sure.....we'll call Z. Bhudapest and get back to you!
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
> They don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Stone Circles.
How many Druids does it take to change a lightbulb?
> one to hold the bulb and 12 to drink enough to make the room spin.
How many years does it take a Druid to change a lightbulb?
> 21, unless you're Irish.
How many Isians does it take to change a light bulb?
> Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to handle publicity, and one to
> write the newsletter.
How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
> Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good enough for us!
How many Fam-Trads does it take to change a light bulb?
> Ask your OWN grandmother!
How many Brit.Trad WItches does it take to change a light bulb?
> 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> (in a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...initiate?"
How many Gardnerian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> It's a third degree secret.
How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb?
> A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year
> and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.
How many Alexandrian witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> "Lets go see how the Gardnerians do it!"
How many years does it take an Alexandrian witch to change a light bulb?
> That's the Maiden's Job. Maiden - Make it so.
How many Starhawk witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> (plaintevely) "There are starving villiages in Africa that don't even HAVE
> light bulbs..."
How many years does it take a Starhawk witch to change a light bulb?
> Well, it depends how hard you study, but you can do it now if you are
> solitary.
How many solitary witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> (if they actually ask 'how many?', drum your fingers and stare at them as
> you wait for them to grasp the obvious)
How many years does it take for a solitary witch to change a light bulb?
> How long does it take to get one out of the closet?
How many years does it take a Kitchen Witch to change a light bulb?
> Already changed.
How many years does it take a White Light Wiccan to change a light bulb?
> Look deep within and find your true essence. That will tell you how long it
> will take.
How many Frost "School of Wicca" witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> "Just you! That's right, YOU! And for only $195 we'll send you our
> complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course" with real
> knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to the
> testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who..."
How many Erisians does it take to change a light bulb?
> "How many have we got?"
How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> Five Tons.
How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> a blue fish Tueday.
How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> 2-One to hold a ladder and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored
> east german machine tools.
(this one also works with any variation on How many surreliests..)
How many Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> Four. One for each direction.
How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
> Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.
How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
> I can't tell you--we never change a light bulb the same way twice! :}
How many Proteans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
> How many will fit?
How many Buckland witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> "Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond
> Buckland..."
How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
> Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that lightbulbs
> never burned out before those damned Christains came along.
How many Thelemites does it take....
> None, Every One of them is a Star.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
> What do you want it changed into?
How many witches does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> None, they do it in great rites.
How many Golden Dawners does it take to change a light bulb?
> One to hold the ladder, one to hold the bulb, three to decipher the
> Light Bulb Ritual from the Secret Chiefs, one to publish it, and one to
> sue all the others.
How many NRDers does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 14. One to do it, one to write poetry about it, and 12 to hold a Council
> and decide whether or not the poem's authentic.
Magickal...
How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> They don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw on the altar!
How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> Only two, but they have to be very small!
How many tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
> 2 as long as the lamp is by the bed...
How many Cerimonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
> One. They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.
How many Kabbalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
> 261.
Astrology based...
How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
> Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of light bulbs.
How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb?
> What, me move?
How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb?
> 2
How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb?
> Only one, but he has to bring his mother.
How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
> A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.
How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
> One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and
> two engineers to check the work.
How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
> Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.
How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
> None. They LIKE the dark.
How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
> One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.
How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
> The light's fine as it is.
How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
> Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?
How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
> What light bulb?
How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
> "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"
General...
How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
> Five. One to change it and four to share the experience!
How many New-agers does it take to change a light bulb?
> (in a flaky voice) We don't use light bulbs, we just think haopy thoughts at
> our quartz crystals and they glow.
How many years does it take for a New-ager to change a light bulb?
> Well, it takes many many years, unless you pay $650 US non
> refundable, Visa or MC accepted. Then you can do it after the weekend
> intensive training seminar.
How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, mecca of new agers) does it take
to change a lightbulb?
> None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in
> their lives.
------
May your day be interesting!
And just remember, safe and normal lives are boring!
--Caitlyn jmhill@eos.ncsu.edu
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Heres another one.
Q> How many Odinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A> 21, one to hold the light bulb, 20 to drink till the world spins.