Reflections From My Trip To Zuni!
[Beau's Old Zuni page]
[Radical Faeries] [Around Zuni]
[Events]
[Beau's Old Zuni page]
[Radical Faeries] [Around Zuni]
[Events]
This is an icon by Robert Lentz of the famous two-spirit Zuni Man Woman "We'Wha."
This remarkable queer forebear's spirit can be felt in the area of Zuni.
I first heard about Zuni Mountain Sanctuary in 1996. I'd began reading and identifying myself with the radical faerie movement a year before. Like a lot of other people I've spoken to, I knew I'd found people asking the questions I was asking. Questions like "What does it mean to be gay?" "What about this sense of gay spirituality?" [For more information about the Radical Faeries check out the "Radical Faeries" link above.]
So, when I heard about sanctuaries I knew I'd visit one. But living in Denver meant a trip to Tennessee [Short Mountain Sanctuary] or to the West Coast [Nomenus in Oregon]. Imagine my delight at hearing that a group of faeries had started a sanctuary in New Mexico! I'd visited and studied and LOVED New Mexico since college. As my undergraduate research project in history I'd studied the fin de seicle intellectual movement in Santa Fe and Taos. All my travels to New Mexico had developed a deep resonance with the land and the spirit of the region.
As the spirits would manifest themselves, I ended up taking a year's internship in the Pacific Northwest. So, my visit to Zuni would have to wait till I returned back to Colorado.
When I wrote to the community to see about visiting them in August, I was warmly encouraged. And it was this warm reception that caused me to approach my visit to the sanctuary as a spiritual pilgrimage. I went to the library and researched the area's history (geological and otherwise). I spent a good seven hours at REI and Barnes & Noble taking notes out of overpriced resources on the area [this is the best way to "use" Barnes and Noble as they are, in my opinion, "of Satan" in their unfair labor practices and corporate malevolence].
In another interesting twist, images of the place and my impending visit found themselves as poems in my journals. I couldn't get Zuni out of my mind! When I would think about visiting my stomach would perform summersaults of glee!! After long having understood that the faeries were my community - that they most closely mirrored my struggles as a spiritual gay man trying to be intentional and gentle on the earth - I was going to be in community with them, even if for a short few days!
I drove Beth, my friend and housemate, to visit her parents in Santa Fe and then headed off to the sanctuary. The trip there was pretty boring till I turned off at Grants. The land here changes radically and you drive through national parkland and monument areas. Lava flows and pine trees dot the rolling landscape. For August the weather was nice and cool. The closer I got to Zuni, the more and more excited I became about the visit. It was as if I was sloughing off the remains of the hetero-oppressive world we all experience day in and day out. It was also a feeling of crossing the threshold beyond hetero-consumerist society and even the hetero-imitative craziness of gay society. I was entering into a space made sacred by the heart-giving and dedication of gay brothers (though I consider all space sacred, since all space is green creation). Everything around me supported what my gay soul was telling me and I felt more lighthearted and joyful with each passing mile.
I ended up getting lost and almost ruining my housemate's little Geo Metro. I'd misunderstood the directions (given to me third-hand) and driven onto remote dirt roads. These roads had holes in them large enough to drown the car and they almost did. Meanwhile, to the West, the sun was slowly making its decent. The sunset was beautiful but I knew if I didn't get to Zuni, or at least get on the right road, I'd be tenting outdoors beside the car. Strangely I wasn't panicked. At a certain point I'd just given in to the experience. I had this lovely sense that the goddess was guiding me…driving through this lovely strange landscape was part of the journey. Almost a little like Alice in Wonderland.
I finally got back to the main road and continued on my way. I drove into a family farm and asked a farm girl for directions to "Zuni Mountain Sanctuary." She gave me a look from the porch like "God. Not another faerie!!" But she gave me directions and I eventually made it to Zuni in time for dinner.
When I parked my car behind what I would later find out was the main building [see the "Around Zuni" page on this site] I was greeted by a barking black dog. Now think about it for a minute: At this point I was about 10 miles from the main road, 50 miles from there to the next major town/city. I was conscious that I was on strange land and not even sure I was finally at Zuni. And here was this dog getting closer to me and barking loudly. I was conscious of my predicament but still not scared. I got on all fours and held my head down. (I don't remember where I'd learned that advice about approaching strange barking dogs, but I followed it!) I now got a great look at the Zuni earth as the dog kept coming! It nudged my cheek with its nose and growled. I figured, "Shit. Whatever happens, so be it." Then the dog started licking my cheek.
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO MY DOG?!?" came the laughing voice. I looked up to see a gaggle of faeries coming out of the back door. I got up as the now friendly dog, Cupid, jumped around me. Each faerie hugged me strongly, telling me their name and welcoming me to Zuni. I felt like I'd come home.
In many ways I had.
I've since had the opportunity to visit Zuni on a couple of occasions. Each one has been filled with great joy and wonder for me. I have found the brothers there to epitomize walking heart-space and hope to serve the dream of Zuni community in whatever way I can.
-CorBeau
[Beau's Old Zuni Page]
[Radical Faeries] [Around Zuni]
[Events]
Zuni Mountain Sanctuary
PO Box 636
Ramah, NM 87321
Telephone: (505)783-4002
Layout unearthed by CorBeau.
